Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 77
Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intelligence
Creativity
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Anonymous
Beliefs
People
Uniqueness
Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Genealogy
Out of the frying pan, into a handbasket.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Forger: A man who made a name for himself.
Anonymous
Definitions
Forger
I'm shooting from the seat of my pants.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Opportunist: One who goes ahead and does what you always planned to do.
Anonymous
Definitions
Opportunist
Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.
Anonymous
Definitions
Celebrity
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Money
People
Lending
Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.
Anonymous
Health
Hypochondria
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As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.
Anonymous
Animals
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It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.
Anonymous
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Heat
Science/Weather
Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Food/Drink
Feedback
“I see,” said Tom icily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“I’m very popular with women”, said Don wanly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
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Good Advice
Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
God
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Anonymous
Sex
Cigarettes
Neighbors
The city is negotiating with the railway so it can take over the maintenance of the
right away.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Right of way
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