Author: Anonymous Page 77

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

“This game is foul,” Tom groused.

Tom Swifties

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

“I have a BA in social work,” said Tom with a degree of concern.

Tom Swifties

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time

“I work at a bank,” said Tom tellingly.

Tom Swifties

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage; I take that as a compliment.

Miscellaneous

“Employees are not permitted to have sex on company furniture,” Tom shouted, banging on the table.

Tom Swifties

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

Definitions Occupations

“I’m being sent down to the minors,” said Tom beleagueredly.

Tom Swifties

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

Characteristics Expressions

Like a four-horned billy goat

Expressions

She has really plummeted to the top of the charts.

Malaprops

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request your presents at the marriage of their daughter…

Malaprops

Fitness: Salvation through perspiration.

Definitions

Better not open that Panacea's box.

Mixed metaphors

Lets see who takes the bite on that.

Mixed metaphors

I like a lot of partisan cheese on my pizza.

Food/Drink Malaprops

“My giant sea creature died,” Tom wailed blubberingly.

Tom Swifties