Author: Anonymous Page 77

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

Pickpocket: A man who believes that every crowd has a silver lining.

Crime Definitions

“This oar is broken,” said Tom robustly.

Tom Swifties

“Where shall I plant these water lilies?” Tom pondered.

Tom Swifties

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.

Reviews/Criticism

Belong: To take your time.

Definitions

If you don't like my opinion of you – improve yourself!

Beliefs Insults Opinion

Numismatics: Collecting money for fun.

Definitions

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Characteristics God Life

Like having a large wardrobe fall on top of you with the key still in the lock.

Sex

Absence makes a long story short.

Mixed metaphors

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

“Parsley, sage, rosemary,” said Tom timelessly.

Tom Swifties

An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don’t win many accuracy contests, but they keep the crowd’s attention.

People

Shivers of joy running up and down my throat

Mixed metaphors

Zebra: A horse behind bars.

Animals Definitions

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Characteristics Money

There's many a pessimist who got that way by financing an optimist.

Characteristics Money