Author: Anonymous Page 77

Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.

Out of the frying pan, into a handbasket.

Forger: A man who made a name for himself.

I'm shooting from the seat of my pants.

Opportunist: One who goes ahead and does what you always planned to do. 

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

“I see,” said Tom icily.

“I’m very popular with women”, said Don wanly.

He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

The city is negotiating with the railway so it can take over the maintenance of the right away.