Author: Anonymous Page 77

Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.

Definitions Intelligence

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Beliefs People

Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.

Definitions Family

Out of the frying pan, into a handbasket.

Mixed metaphors

Forger: A man who made a name for himself.

Definitions

I'm shooting from the seat of my pants.

Mixed metaphors

Opportunist: One who goes ahead and does what you always planned to do. 

Definitions

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

Definitions

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

Health

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Animals Appearance Dogs Expressions Ugly

It is so hot… no shirt, no pants, no problem.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Children Definitions Family Food/Drink

“I see,” said Tom icily.

Tom Swifties

“I’m very popular with women”, said Don wanly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

Tom Swifties

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Sex

The city is negotiating with the railway so it can take over the maintenance of the right away.

Malaprops