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Dieting: The triumph of mind over platter.

Definitions

“The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show,” said Tom deludedly.

Tom Swifties

Sympathy: What one usually gives to a friend or relative when he doesn’t want to lend him money.

Definitions Emotions

… behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow.

Malaprops

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Malaprops

“I cut off the bottoms of my Levis so they won’t drag on the ground,” said Tom hygienically.

Tom Swifties

You're pulling my leg over my eyes.

Mixed metaphors

I understand that Congress has taken the first step in the fight against air pollution: limiting the speeches to five minutes.

Congress Government

“Thank you so much, Monsieur,” said Tom mercifully.

Tom Swifties

You're making a mountain out of a Mohawk.

Malaprops

It's a big nut to swallow.

Mixed metaphors

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Mixed metaphors

.. drawing the eye… like a magnet

Mixed metaphors

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Autos Exaggerations Things

The intention is to get a jumpstart on it.

Mixed metaphors

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

People who wear glass slippers shouldn't kick stones.

Mixed metaphors

Let's bury this dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground.

Animals Definitions