Author: Anonymous Page 78

If a job’s worth doing, make sure you delegate it to the right person.

Work

It's on the tip of my frontal lobotomy.

Mixed metaphors

“I wish I had something to write with,” Tom said pensively.

Tom Swifties

“There’s a high charge for supporters traveling by coach,” said Tom with considerable fanfare.

Tom Swifties

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

That's putting the chicken before the cart.

Mixed metaphors

“I think I’ll use a different font,” said Tom boldly.

Tom Swifties

Too many skeletons in her background

Mixed metaphors

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

“What are these berries?” Tom rasped.

Tom Swifties

Racehorse: A barn athlete.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.

Expressions

Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.

Definitions

Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.

Conversation Definitions Occupations

Nepotism: Putting on heirs.

Definitions Family

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

The lining's always more silver on the other side of the cloud.

Mixed metaphors

… just to relieve the monopoly.

Malaprops Situations

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors