Author: Anonymous Page 78

“I chop down trees for a living,” said Tom lumberingly.

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

“I have to fix the car,” said Tom mechanically.

College: A four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

Silence: True wisdom’s best reply.

To make the drawers work better, rub them with paraphernalia.

Dermatologist: Person who makes rash judgments.

Jesus loves him, but he is the only one.

She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.

“I only use one herb when I cook,” said Tom sagely.

… just to relieve the monopoly.

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

She's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Man was predestined to have free will.

Communist: A fellow who will gladly divide his hunger and thirst with you if you’ll divide your beer and salami with him.

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

It's as dark as the inside of a cow.

Exercise: The joy of flex.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.