Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 78
If a job’s worth doing, make sure you delegate it to the right person.
Anonymous
Work
Delegating
It's on the tip of my frontal lobotomy.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“I wish I had something to write with,” Tom said pensively.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“There’s a high charge for supporters traveling by coach,” said Tom with considerable fanfare.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
Anonymous
Definitions
Elections/Voting
Government
Candidate
That's putting the chicken before the cart.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“I think I’ll use a different font,” said Tom boldly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Too many skeletons in her background
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Anonymous
Definitions
Politeness
“What are these berries?” Tom rasped.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Racehorse: A barn athlete.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Wordplay
Horses
Racehorse
He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.
Anonymous
Expressions
Dishonest
Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.
Anonymous
Definitions
Desk
Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.
Anonymous
Conversation
Definitions
Occupations
Barber
Nepotism: Putting on heirs.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Nepotism
Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Small town
The lining's always more silver on the other side of the cloud.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
… just to relieve the
monopoly.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Situations
Boredom
Monotony
Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Abdicate
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Anonymous
Autos
Husbands
Marriage
Wives
Rattle some feathers.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
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