Author: Anonymous Page 79

It's got lots of installation.

Appearance Clothing Malaprops

If I was doin’ any better, I’d have ta hire somebody to help me enjoy it!

Emotions Expressions Happiness Life

We wanted to help the indiguous people of the country.

Malaprops

Pediatrician: Man of little patients.

Definitions Doctors Health Wordplay

It was so cold… polar bears were buying fur coats.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

“Don’t give me the gears!” said Tom automatically.

Tom Swifties

“Will you quit rustling around in my closet!” said Leif.

Tom Swifties

Alone… in bad company

Insults

Dime: A dollar with all the taxes taken out.

Definitions Money

Bury it under the carpet

Mixed metaphors

Chastity: Perhaps the most peculiar of all sexual aberrations.

Definitions Sex

Marriage: The mourning after the knot before.

Definitions Marriage

Know-it-all: One who pretends to know something about everything but really knows nothing about anything.

Definitions

Antique: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of,  and you're buying again.

Definitions Things

Hell is a place where the motorists are French, the policemen are German, and the cooks are English.

England

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Characteristics

Let's bury this dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

She's skating on thin water.

Mixed metaphors

Gold Digger: A fund-loving girl.

Definitions

These hemorrhoids are a real pain in the neck.

Misspokements