Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 79
Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.
Anonymous
Definitions
Imagination
He could sell socks to a rooster.
Anonymous
Communication
Expressions
A good salesman
He's convincing
Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.
Anonymous
Definitions
Language
Synonym
“This steamroller is amazing,” said Tom flatteringly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I'm shooting from the seat of my pants.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“I can eat one hundred and forty-four,” Tom boasted grossly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
”..,” said Tom blankly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I’m gonna dig in my feet on this one.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“I’m just an ordinary soldier,” Tom admitted privately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Gossip: Something negative that is developed and then enlarged.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gossip
A carpenter was the low rung on a totem pole.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
The United Nations is a good idea, but it’s a pity they have to have so many foreigners in it.
Anonymous
Government
People
Foreigners
United Nations
… prostate with grief
Anonymous
Malaprops
Prostrate
Tony Soprano
Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Farmer
Group Therapy: A drama-in-the-round staged for the entertainment of a professional therapist, who commands the players to put on a new show each week and charges them for the privilege.
Anonymous
Definitions
Group Therapy
“The exit is right there,” Tom pointed out.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Borrower: A person who always wants to be left a loan.
Anonymous
Definitions
Borrower
Booby Trap: A brassiere.
Anonymous
Definitions
Booby Trap
She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Fat
We are born naked, wet, and hungry; then things get worse.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Murphy’s Laws
Birth
Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Fishing
Page 79 of 161
« First
« Previous
77
78
79
80
81
Next »
Last »