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Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

She's skating on thin water.

Mixed metaphors

Look what the cat dragged out of the bag.

Mixed metaphors

Apartment: A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent.

Definitions

Fountain pen: A writing instrument that works marvelously in the store.

Definitions Things

Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.

Definitions

“Another work week begins,” said Tom mundanely.

Tom Swifties

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Reformer: One who wants his conscience to be your guide.

Definitions

People who wear glass slippers shouldn't kick stones.

Mixed metaphors

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Things

The guy just couldn’t cut the custard.

Mixed metaphors

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

“I’m mentioned in this book,” said Tom contentedly.

Tom Swifties

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Scissors: A piece maker.

Definitions Things

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Sports

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work.

Definitions

My mind is an open slate.

Mixed metaphors

“I used to command a battalion of German ants,” said Tom exuberantly.

Tom Swifties