Author: Anonymous Page 8

Diplomat: Someone who can lose all the points and still win the game.

Definitions

Criminal lawyer is a redundancy.

Government Law Lawyers

Yankee: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself.

Definitions

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

Divorce: Going through a change of wife.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

You could start an argument in an empty house.

Characteristics Expressions

Broom: Witch craft.

Definitions

Dime: A dollar with all the taxes taken out.

Definitions Money

Funeral: A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Death Definitions

I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.

Tom Swifties

Medical Insurance: What allows people to be ill at ease.

Wordplay

Inch: Unit of measure whose length is consistently underestimated by men.

Definitions

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

Age Exaggerations Old

Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.

Conversation Definitions Occupations

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

She’s so big, it takes two men and a boy just to look at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

Shoplifting: Free enterprise.

Conflict Crime Definitions

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Definitions

“I’ve still got two fingers left,” said Tom handsomely.

Tom Swifties