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Group Discussion: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Venereal Disease: Germs of endearment.

Definitions Health

“Pass the playing cards,” said Tom ideally.

Tom Swifties

A rolling stone gathers momentum.

Science/Weather Situations

“I want to be your best friend,” Tom said doggedly.

Tom Swifties

“I still haven’t struck oil,” said Tom boringly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Fools Intelligence

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Our ship was caught in a typhoid.

Malaprops

From now on, I’m watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.

Mixed metaphors

“Emily has put on weight,” said Tom emphatically.

Tom Swifties

American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business.

Definitions

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Situations

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Vaccination: An ouch of prevention.

Definitions Health

My husband was chosen as a wheelbarrow for his friend's funeral.

Malaprops

The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it.

Situations

Spanking: To impress upon the mind from the bottom up.

Definitions

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

Things