Author: Anonymous Page 80

Homer also wrote the Oddity.

Books Malaprops Reading/Writing

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

Brain: The apparatus with which we think we think.

Body Definitions

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

Emotions Happiness Money

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

Definitions Time

He’s so skinny, his pants had only one back pocket.

Appearance Body Expressions

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Activities Games Situations

Nepotism: A form of favoritism – relatively speaking.

Definitions Family

He's grinning like a possum eating a persimmon.

Appearance Expressions

I looked to see what I could hear.

Mixed metaphors

A veritable land mine of valuable information.

Malaprops

Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.

Definitions

They're in the trenches; they're on the horse and they're riding it.

Mixed metaphors

If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

Miscellaneous

Isn't that an expensive pendulum round that woman's neck?

Malaprops

Remember Pearl Island.

Malaprops Places

“I’m putting on my T-shirt, shorts, and sunglasses,” Tom summarized.

Tom Swifties

If that's something you expire to do.

Malaprops

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

If you teach a snake to fish, you can lead it to water but it won't drink..

Mixed metaphors

Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.

Malaprops