Author: Anonymous Page 81

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Beliefs Communication

“That horse looks like a good bet at 20 to 1,” said Tom oddly.

Tom Swifties

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

People Sex Women

“You dance just like Fred Astaire,” she said gingerly.

Tom Swifties

“The stock market’s going up,” said Tom bullishly.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve been having an incontinence problem,” Tom gushed.

Tom Swifties

A duck on a hot tin roof.

Mixed metaphors

Plumber: A drain surgeon.

Definitions Occupations

Epigram: A half-truth so stated to irritate the person who believes the other half.

Definitions

Insomnia: The inability to sleep even when it’s time to get up.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

Smoking like a sieve

Mixed metaphors

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

When my dad was explaining the facts of life to me, he drew me a big diaphragm.

Malaprops

“Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude,” said Tom barbarically.

Tom Swifties

“I can take photographs if I want to!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

“Eating garbage is a form of recycling, but I can’t eat any more,” said Tom wastefully.

Tom Swifties

Patron: A customer who doesn't ask prices.

Definitions

Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!

Autos Things

“I’ve joined the navy,” Tom said fleetingly.

Tom Swifties

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Definitions Occupations Work