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Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.

Definitions Food/Drink

There's a pot of gold at the end of the tunnel.

Mixed metaphors

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Autos Exaggerations Things

“That young insect is female,” said Tom gallantly.

Tom Swifties

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

Definitions Places

Collection: A church function in which many take but a passing interest.

Definitions

Don't put all your chickens in one basket.

Mixed metaphors

The walls of medieval cathedrals were supported by flying buttocks.

Malaprops

I'm sweating like a stuck pig.

Mixed metaphors

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

“These propulsion systems were used by NASA on moon rockets,” said Tom apologetically.

Tom Swifties

She's tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake.

Appearance Body Expressions

“Eating uranium can cause strange effects,” said Tom brightly.

Tom Swifties

Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.

Definitions Doctors Health

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

Set aside half an hour every day to do all your worrying; then take a nap during this period.

Situations Sleep

“We have no oranges,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Tom Swifties

Make no delusions about the past!

Malaprops

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

When you boil it down to its nuts and bolts

Mixed metaphors

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places