Author: Anonymous Page 82

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

Beliefs Communication Language

“And to think I swallowed that lie, hook, line and sinker!” Tom gulped.

Tom Swifties

The coffee has burned my face! I'm going to be distorted!

Appearance Malaprops

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech

Sarong: A simple garment carrying the implicit promise that it will not long stay in place.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

In the nineteenth century, life was hard for Europe’s pheasants.

Malaprops People Poverty

“I have a BA in social work,” said Tom with a degree of concern.

Tom Swifties

It is so flat, you can stand on a milk crate and watch your dog run away for three days.

Expressions Places

Quit your procrasterbating and go talk to him.

Malaprops

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

Definitions

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work.

Definitions

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

If winners never quit, and quitters never win, what idiot came up with quit while you're ahead?

People Situations

They try to balance a fine line.

Mixed metaphors

This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.

Mixed metaphors

“The door’s ajar,” said Tom openly.

Tom Swifties

It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.

Mixed metaphors

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence

“Emily has put on weight,” said Tom emphatically.

Tom Swifties

Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.

Definitions Intelligence