Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 82
Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Diet
There's a pot of gold at the end of the tunnel.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.
Anonymous
Autos
Exaggerations
Things
“That young insect is female,” said Tom gallantly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Home
Collection: A church function in which many take but a passing interest.
Anonymous
Definitions
Church
Collection
Don't put all your chickens in one basket.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
The walls of medieval cathedrals were supported by flying
buttocks.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Architecture
Buttresses
I'm sweating like a stuck pig.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Fishing
Limit
“These propulsion systems were used by NASA on moon rockets,” said Tom apologetically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
She's tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Expressions
Tall
“Eating uranium can cause strange effects,” said Tom brightly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Health
Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Time
Year
Set aside half an hour every day to do all your worrying; then take a nap during this period.
Anonymous
Situations
Sleep
Naps
Worries
“We have no oranges,” Tom said fruitlessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Make no
delusions
about the past!
Anonymous
Malaprops
Allusions
Judgment
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Anonymous
Definitions
Divorce
Marriage
When you boil it down to its nuts and bolts
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Small town
Page 82 of 161
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