Author: Anonymous Page 82

It takes a real talent to be able to apologize in a manner that makes the offended person feel guilty.

Characteristics Communication

Executive Suite: A sugar daddy.

Definitions

“If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse,” Tom upheld.

Tom Swifties

Oratory: The art of making deep noises from the chest sound like important messages from the brain.

Communication Definitions Speech

Nursery: Bawl room.

Definitions

You’d be a overweight neurotic fighter too if your name was Shirley Crabtree.

Sports

Awe: Wow of silence.

Definitions

I spent all my money on a FAX machine; now I can only FAX collect.

Money Things

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.

Definitions

I'm happier than a woodpecker in a lumber yard.

Miscellaneous

Average Person: One who thinks someone else is the average person.

Definitions People

Angler: A man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home.

Activities Definitions

I will be brief… not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech; he said 'I will be so brief I have already finished,' and he sat down."

Communication Speech

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

Will: A dead giveaway.

Death Definitions

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Definitions Marriage Wives

The walls of medieval cathedrals were supported by flying buttocks.

Malaprops

I got a run in my neon stockings.

Clothing Malaprops

“I’ve run out of wool,” said Tom, knitting his brow.

Tom Swifties

 “My parents are called Billy and Nanny,” Tom kidded.

Tom Swifties