Author: Anonymous Page 83

Sometimes they bite the farm.

Mixed metaphors

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Definitions Food/Drink

“Use your own hair brush,” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

He's going up and down like a metronome.

Malaprops

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Mission Statement: A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.

Definitions

“It’s homemade soup,” said Tom uncannily.

Tom Swifties

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People

The bigger the mouth, the better it looks shut.

Communication Speech

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Definitions Opinion

He’s a bad influenza on me.

Malaprops

He’s so ugly his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

The squeaky wheel wins.

Mixed metaphors

Behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow.

Malaprops

“I lost my trousers,” said Tom expansively.

Tom Swifties

“I don’t like this Chardonnay,” Tom whined.

Tom Swifties

Hypochondriac: One who can’t leave well-enough alone.

Definitions Health

Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Definitions Emotions

“It’s not fair!” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m concerned about the number of people not attending,” said Tom absentmindedly.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve joined the navy,” Tom said fleetingly.

Tom Swifties