Author: Anonymous Page 84

As proud as pea soup.

Mixed metaphors

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

Definitions Occupations Work

I have my doubts about disbelief.

Miscellaneous

Hey, watch this!

Death Definitions Last words

Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

Definitions Friends People

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.

Definitions

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Crime Death Definitions Killing

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

“This is the fastest way to get drunk,” said Tom quixotically.

Tom Swifties

Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.

Definitions People

Incest is relatively boring.

Family Sex Wordplay

“I think we were cheated,” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

Window: A looking-out glass.

Definitions Things

Keep paying the electricity bill.

Health

I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.

Mixed metaphors

Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.

Mixed metaphors

Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.

Intelligence Memory Wisdom

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

She tried to use reverse psychiatry on me.

Malaprops

Philanthropist: One who returns to the people publicly what he steals from them privately.

Definitions People