Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 84
As proud as pea soup.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Pride
Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Work
Economist
I have my doubts about disbelief.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Doubt
Oxymorons
Hey, watch this!
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Last words
Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.
Anonymous
Definitions
Friends
People
Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.
Anonymous
Definitions
Donuts
Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.
Anonymous
Definitions
Compromise
Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.
Anonymous
Crime
Death
Definitions
Killing
Capital punishment
“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“This is the fastest way to get drunk,” said Tom quixotically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Neighbors
Incest is relatively boring.
Anonymous
Family
Sex
Wordplay
Incest
“I think we were cheated,” Tom recounted.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Window: A looking-out glass.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Window
Keep paying the electricity bill.
Anonymous
Health
Doctor’s advice to actor Roger Moore after he had been fitted with a pacemaker
I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.
Anonymous
Intelligence
Memory
Wisdom
Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Parents
Wordplay
She tried to use reverse
psychiatry
on me.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Psychology
Philanthropist: One who returns to the people publicly what he steals from them privately.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Philanthropist
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