Author: Anonymous Page 84

We all have our own legs to pull.

Mixed metaphors

It's time to swallow the bullet.

Mixed metaphors

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider.

Expressions Food/Drink

Deterrence: The art of producing, in the mind of the enemy, the fear to attack.

Definitions

Argument: A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but the other person hasn’t realized it yet.

Definitions

I spent all my money on a FAX machine; now I can only FAX collect.

Money Things

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

The whole ball of worms

Malaprops

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

Like all self-made men he worships his creator.

Insults Reviews/Criticism

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request your presents at the marriage of their daughter…

Malaprops

“I need an injection,” Tom pleaded in vain.

Tom Swifties

He's a wolf in cheap clothing.

Malaprops

Unabated: A fishhook without a worm.

Definitions

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Bill Collector: A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.

Definitions

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Autos Exaggerations Things

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Definitions

“The seesaw is upside down,” said Tom saucily.

Tom Swifties

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government