Author: Anonymous Page 84

I’ll get it by hook or ladder.

“I’m not going to give up anything this Easter,” said Tom relentlessly.

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Doctor: A man who suffers from good health.

Busier than a puppy in room full of rubber balls.

Minister: A travel agent for the straight and narrow.

Fish: An animal that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time a fisherman describes it to his friends.

“I’m trying to get some air circulating under the roof,” said Tom fanatically.

They are crumbling at the seams.

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Too many skeletons in her background

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

What are you incinerating?

Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.