Author: Anonymous Page 84

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

A committee of three gets things done if two don’t show up.

Murphy’s Laws People

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

“I could stand to lose 50% of my body weight”, said Tom affably.

Tom Swifties

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

People Women

“You have the right to remain silent,” said Tom arrestingly.

Tom Swifties

Female: One who believes if you charge it, it’s not spending, and if you add a cherry to it, it’s not intoxicating.

Definitions People

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

People

White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.

Beliefs Definitions Intelligence People

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time

Hors d'oeuvres: A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

Definitions Food/Drink

“Yes, I’m amazingly strongly built,” said Tom soberly.

Tom Swifties

That will open up a whole new can of issues.

Mixed metaphors

“Here is your hotdog,” said Tom with relish.

Tom Swifties

Reform: To gain or lose weight.

Appearance Body Definitions

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

We'll mend that fence when we get to it.

Mixed metaphors

Running around like children with their heads cut off

Mixed metaphors

“It’s not fair!” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties