Author: Anonymous Page 85

She’s not the toughest cookie on the block.

Mixed metaphors

Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.

Activities Definitions

Life is beautiful, then you die.

Mixed metaphors

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

Goin’ around your ass to get to your elbow

Expressions

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Autos Science/Weather Situations Things

Hit the wall running…

Mixed metaphors

“I hear a brook,” Tom babbled.

Tom Swifties

Small Town: A place where everybody knows the troubles you’ve seen.

Definitions Places

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

It’s like pulling the teeth from a hen.

Mixed metaphors

We should get our foot in the door and get the ball rolling.

Mixed metaphors

Life is a terminal disease.

Health Life

“The policeman charged me twenty bucks for speeding,” said Tom finally.

Tom Swifties

Ornery as an old pine knot

Expressions

Taxpayer: A person who has the government on his payroll.

Definitions Government Taxes

X Chromosome: a genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.

Definitions Men People

Dreams do come through.

Malaprops

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.

Sex

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government