Author: Anonymous Page 85

I've been up and down like a light switch.

Mixed metaphors

Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

Miscellaneous

Racehorse: A barn athlete.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Everybody had some antidotes to tell.

Malaprops Speech

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Beliefs Proverbs

Liposuction: A surgical procedure from which the patient emerges significantly lighter in both pounds and dollars.

Appearance Body Definitions Health

Butt: The body part that every item of clothing makes “look bigger.”

Appearance Body Definitions

Woman: A creature who is either making a fool out of man, or making a man out of a fool.

Definitions People

Take the ball by the horns and run with it.

Mixed metaphors

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Adolescent: One who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Definitions

[a rock group’s] authenticity strikes a chord with fans.

Mixed metaphors

Clear Conscience: Poor memory.

Definitions

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Definitions Education

Deep pockets… short arms

Expressions

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Activities Beer Food/Drink

Family Planning: Having all your children while their grandparents are still young enough to be babysitters.

Children Definitions Family

The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.

Beliefs Opinion