Author: Anonymous Page 85

They paired off, one by one.

Mixed metaphors

“We have no oranges,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Tom Swifties

Snoring: Sound sleeping.

Definitions

I.O.U.: A type of paper wait.

Definitions

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Opportunist: A person who, finding himself in hot water, decides he needs a bath anyway.

Definitions Situations

I don't want to step on your thunder.

Mixed metaphors

Grandmother: A babysitter who doesn’t hang around the refrigerator.

Definitions Family

As proud as pea soup.

Mixed metaphors

Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.

Definitions

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

“She even flies her own jet,” Tom leered.

Tom Swifties

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Gluttony: A sign something is eating us.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

It’s like looking for a needle in a hayride.

Mixed metaphors

“Here’s another baseball glove”, Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Definitions Education

Vacation: A change of routine that makes you feel good enough to go back to work and poor enough to have to.

Definitions

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Doctor: A man who suffers from good health.

Definitions Doctors