Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 85
I've been up and down like a light switch.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Everyone gets lucky sometimes.
Luck
Other expressions
Racehorse: A barn athlete.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Wordplay
Horses
Racehorse
Everybody had some
antidotes
to tell.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Speech
Anecdotes
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Proverbs
Modesty
Liposuction: A surgical procedure from which the patient emerges significantly lighter in both pounds and dollars.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Definitions
Health
Liposuction
Butt: The body part that every item of clothing makes “look bigger.”
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Definitions
Butt
Woman: A creature who is either making a fool out of man, or making a man out of a fool.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Woman
Take the ball by the horns and run with it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Key Ring
Keys
Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.
Anonymous
Definitions
Friends
Wordplay
Sewing Circle
Adolescent: One who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.
Anonymous
Definitions
Adolescent
[a rock group’s] authenticity strikes a chord with fans.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Clear Conscience: Poor memory.
Anonymous
Definitions
Clear Conscience
Chef: Any cook who swears in French.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Chef
Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.
Anonymous
Definitions
Education
Deep pockets… short arms
Anonymous
Expressions
When someone's just a looker and not a buyer
Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Work
Undertaker
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Anonymous
Activities
Beer
Food/Drink
Fishing
Family Planning: Having all your children while their grandparents are still young enough to be babysitters.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Family Planning
The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Opinion
Apathy
Oxymorons
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