Author: Anonymous Page 85

Dentist: man who lives from hand to mouth.

Definitions Occupations

Class Reunion: Where everyone gets together to see who is falling apart

Definitions

The scripts needs to be kept in sink.

Malaprops

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Characteristics Expressions Situations

Father’s Day: The annual day in June set aside so merchants can get rid of their leftover Christmas ties and shaving lotion.

Definitions Time

Bigamist: A man who who has had one too many.

Definitions Marriage

“I’ve been to a film festival in Southern France,” said Tom cannily.

Tom Swifties

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Communication Family Language Mothers

I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair.

Malaprops

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Communication Education Learning Speech

… since God's dog was a pup

Expressions Past Time

“Would you like to buy some cod?” asked Tom selfishly.

Tom Swifties

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Definitions Golf Sports

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

Characteristics Definitions

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors

Reform: To gain or lose weight.

Appearance Body Definitions

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common… they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

“Now, how can I trick Sidney?” Tom considered.

Tom Swifties

He is so old… his social security number is 6.

Age Exaggerations Old

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars

Men People Women