Author: Anonymous Page 86

Fanatic: A man who does what God would do – if He only had the facts straight.

Definitions

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Characteristics Intelligence

Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

Out of the mouths of babes come things parents never should have said.

Children Communication Family Speech

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Work

Chicken guarding the hen house

Mixed metaphors

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink People

“And to think I swallowed that lie, hook, line and sinker!” Tom gulped.

Tom Swifties

Wig: A convertible top.

Appearance Definitions Hair

“Why is this telephone flex always tangled?” asked Tom coyly.

Tom Swifties

Clever Woman: One who knows how to give a man her own way.

Definitions

Ant: A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics.

Animals Definitions

Goin’ around your ass to get to your elbow

Expressions

College: A four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

Definitions Education School

Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.

Definitions

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

Definitions Marriage

He don’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.

Miscellaneous

She has extra-century perception.

Malaprops

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

Definitions Language