Author: Anonymous Page 87

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Clothing Definitions

Class Reunion: Where everyone gets together to see who is falling apart

Definitions

Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey.

Activities Games

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

“Damn it, look at the camera!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

Accrue: People who work on a ship.

Definitions

Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Bureaucracy: The art of making the possible seem impossible.

Definitions

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

Everybody and his dog was there.

Expressions People

Father’s Day: The annual day in June set aside so merchants can get rid of their leftover Christmas ties and shaving lotion.

Definitions Time

Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Men People

It's so flat you can look down the road and see the back of your head!

Expressions Places

With Lenny in, Carl will fold like a domino!

Mixed metaphors

Falsies: A helpful aid to any girl in acquiring a disappointed husband.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a chicken.

Children Expressions Family

Babysitter: A teenager you pay $7 an hour to eat $20 worth of snacks.

Definitions

“I need an injection,” Tom pleaded in vain.

Tom Swifties