Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 88
Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Quiet
Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sunburn
Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? … because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.
Anonymous
Health
PMS
“My friend and I steal things together,” Tom corroborated.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Conference: An organized way of postponing a decision.
Anonymous
Definitions
Conference
Decisions
You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.
Anonymous
Expressions
Charm
Pleasing
Infinity – where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.
Anonymous
Science/Weather
Infinity
Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Businessman
Bad Driver: The person you run into.
Anonymous
Autos
Definitions
Things
Bad Driver
Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.
Anonymous
Alcohol
Definitions
Food/Drink
Zigzag
Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bliss
Don't stand behind a coughing cow.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Proverbs
Cows
Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sterile Solution
Vasectomy
Coach: A fellow who will gladly lay down your life for the school.
Anonymous
Definitions
Coach
The intention is to get a jumpstart on it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“OK, you can borrow it again,” Tom relented.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“You don’t see the point, do you?” asked Tom, stabbing in the dark.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
My husband was chosen as a
wheelbarrow
for his friend's funeral.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Pallbearer
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Anonymous
Life
Proverbs
Monday
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Anonymous
Death
Wills
Auditor: A person who goes in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Auditor
Page 88 of 161
« First
« Previous
86
87
88
89
90
Next »
Last »