Author: Anonymous Page 88

There is no halftime for cheerleaders!

Activities Sports

I've been getting the corpse ahead of the hearse most of my life.

Mixed metaphors

A plastic surgeon increases your face value.

Appearance

Tavern: Thirst come, thirst served.

Definitions Food/Drink

She has initiated and is very remorseful.

Characteristics Malaprops

Have no delusions about the past.

Malaprops

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

The police surrounded the building and threw an accordion around the block.

Malaprops Situations

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re probably broke.

Emotions Love Money

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

Billboards: Litter on a stick.

Definitions

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Age Definitions People Young

He ran a cottage industry from his garden shed.

Mixed metaphors

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Characteristics

Motel: A love-inn.

Definitions

“I’m mentioned in this book,” said Tom contentedly.

Tom Swifties

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.

Situations

Cricket: A game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity.

Definitions Sports

A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.

Work

Abash: A high school graduation party.

Definitions

He’s a bad influenza on me.

Malaprops