Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 88
… just to relieve the
monopoly.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Situations
Boredom
Monotony
When sleeping dogs fly.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Homosexual: A man’s man.
Anonymous
Definitions
Men
Homosexual
I'm flying by the edge of my seat.
Anonymous
Misspokements
Never put all your eggs in one omelet.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gossip
There's a pot of gold at the end of the tunnel.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“I’m going after that red fish,” said Tom erringly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
He's got too many oars in the fire.
Anonymous
Misspokements
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Proverbs
Modesty
Men are like textbooks: you have to spend a lot of time between the covers to gain a small amount of satisfaction.
Anonymous
Books
Education
Men
People
Reading/Writing
Textbooks
Idle hands are the mother of invention.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Idleness
You can take that to the bank and smoke it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“Your trousers have come apart!” was Tom’s unseemly comment.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“It’s a unit of electric current,” said Tom amply.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
Anonymous
Beliefs
People
Religion
Sex
Apples
Sin
“No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas,” said Tom laconically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Quartet: Four men, all of whom think that the other three can’t sing.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Quartet
Singing
Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bridegroom
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Anonymous
Work
Replacement
Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.
Anonymous
Definitions
Doctors
Occupations
Chiropodist
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