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Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Computers Definitions Things

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

Miscellaneous

“Take tea and see,” said Tom briskly.

Tom Swifties

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

We'd like a room with a southern explosion.

Malaprops

We’ll tackle that bridge when we come to it.

Mixed metaphors

Acupuncture: A jab well done.

Definitions

Hit the wall running…

Mixed metaphors

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

What in the Sam Hill are you doing?

Miscellaneous

He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.

Expressions

My purses were selling like wild cakes.

Mixed metaphors

She's tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake.

Appearance Body Expressions

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

“I’d like to make a toast,” Tom said warmly.

Tom Swifties

Hindsight: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

Definitions

“There, there,” was Tom’s pat answer.

Tom Swifties

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions