Author: Anonymous Page 89

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

Justice: A decision in your favor.

Definitions

“Eating garbage is a form of recycling, but I can’t eat any more,” said Tom wastefully.

Tom Swifties

Clearly we’ve opened a Pandora’s box of worms here.

Mixed metaphors

“There, there,” was Tom’s pat answer.

Tom Swifties

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

Thingy: Female Interpretation: Any part under a car’s hood; Male Interpretation: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

Definitions Men Things Women

She has extra-century perception.

Malaprops

Shakespeare: A man whose writings are so excellent it’s believed someone else must have written them.

Definitions

Let’s split the baby with the bathwater.

Mixed metaphors

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Beliefs Intelligence Proverbs Understanding

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

Aversion: One side of a disputed story.

Definitions

“My wife is going to have a test tube baby”, Tom injected artificially.

Tom Swifties

Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content.

Definitions Food/Drink

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

Definitions

This is really a jack of all trades and master of non.

Misspokements

Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

People

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions