Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 89
Wound up tighter than an eight-day clock
Anonymous
Expressions
Nervous
Tense
Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Heir Fare
Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Small town
Silence is bliss.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Silence
I'm traveling
incoherent.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Ingognito
Crazier than a dog in a hubcap factory
Anonymous
Expressions
Crazy
“Why shouldn’t I stir my yoghurt with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
He's the meanest man on the face of the universe.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Mean
Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Politicians
Honest Politician
Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Hypochondriac
Dog Pound: A used cur lot.
Anonymous
Definitions
Dog Pound
They try to balance a fine line.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.
Anonymous
Age
Children
Family
Travel
Kids
Charm: That indefinable something possessed by girls with stunning figures.
Anonymous
Appearance
Definitions
Charm
Don't look a gift horse in the eye.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
We're robbing Peter to pay the piper.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.
Anonymous
Expressions
Time
Fast
Quick
She's not wearing enough clothes to flag a hand car.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
Expressions
Said when someone wears skimpy clothes
Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.
Anonymous
Children
Family
Sex
Wordplay
Kids
Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
Anonymous
Definitions
Campers
Mosquitoes
Vacation: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.
Anonymous
Definitions
Vacation
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