Author: Anonymous Page 89

“If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse,” Tom upheld.

Tom Swifties

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

Age Exaggerations Old

“Why do you bother? I for one couldn’t….,” said Tom carelessly.

Tom Swifties

As Bob is my witless

Malaprops

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

Once again, the Achilles' heel has reared its ugly head.

Mixed metaphors

Impossible: What nobody can do until somebody does it.

Definitions

It’s like watching wallpaper dry.

Mixed metaphors

“It’s made the grass wet,” said Tom after due consideration.

Tom Swifties

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

So there was this dyslexic guy who walked into a bra.

Health

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Expressions Situations

Bragging: The patter of tiny feats.

Definitions

… prostate with grief

Malaprops

Forty: The most difficult age for a woman to pass; it often takes years.

Age Definitions

Astronomer: Night watchman.

Definitions Occupations

I shot the wind out of his saddle.

Mixed metaphors

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations