Author: Anonymous Page 89

Egotist: A person of low taste more interested in himself than in me.

Definitions

Let’s start at square zero.

Mixed metaphors

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.

Beliefs Definitions Intelligence People

Run it up the flag pole and see what sticks.

Mixed metaphors

The scripts needs to be kept in sink.

Malaprops

Dieting: The triumph of mind over platter.

Definitions

“Now no-one can detect my halitosis,” said Tom breathlessly.

Tom Swifties

What he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in stupidity.

Insults Intelligence Stupidity

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

“I bought myself fifty hamburgers and I’ve only ten left,” said Tom with fortitude.

Tom Swifties

Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

Definitions Religion

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.

Education

We'll be there until the fat lady freezes over.

Mixed metaphors

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Arms Situations Things

“Has the bear gone away?” asked Tom intently.

Tom Swifties

Lawyer: Men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.

Definitions Lawyers

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace.

Definitions

Don’t make a long story short just so you can tell another one.

Communication Conversation Speech

Ache: Joint concern.

Body Definitions