Author: Anonymous Page 9

“I’m from Missouri,” Tom stated.

Tom Swifties

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

They held a candlelight visual.

Malaprops

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

The difference between bagpipes and an onion is that nobody cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

Situations

“So only one person arrived at the party before I did?” Tom second-guessed.

Tom Swifties

“No, I won’t give you a note saying you’re excused,” said Tom unwaveringly.

Tom Swifties

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

Hanging: A suspended sentence.

Definitions

Beauty parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

Definitions

“I teach economics at the university,” Tom professed.

Tom Swifties

“I wonder where the next character is going to appear,” said Tom with a cursory glance.

Tom Swifties

Bookie: A pickpocket who lets you use your own hands.

Definitions

“That city will never be rebuilt,” the prophets babble on.


Tom Swifties

Acorn: An oak in a nutshell.

Definitions

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

Definitions

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

“I swallowed some of the glass from that broken window,” Tom said painfully.

Tom Swifties

Vision: Looking farther than you can see.

Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

Definitions Language