Author: Anonymous Page 90

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

Animals Definitions Occupations

“That’s nothing!” said Tom naughtily.

Tom Swifties

He was going to line up his ducks in a basket.

Mixed metaphors

“Europe needs more self-restraint,” said Tom continently.

Tom Swifties

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

“The policeman charged me twenty bucks for speeding,” said Tom finally.

Tom Swifties

“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve transferred my money back into a German bank account,” Tom remarked with interest.

Tom Swifties

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Perfume: What a woman hopes will make her the scenter of attention.

Definitions Wordplay

The cost of the hairdo is directly related to the strength of the wind.

Appearance Hair Murphy’s Laws

“I was raised in a foster home,” said Tom transparently.

Tom Swifties

Life is beautiful, then you die.

Mixed metaphors

That guy in the White House, George Snuffleupagus.

Malaprops People

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

There's light at the end of this rainbow.

Mixed metaphors

I'm sweating like a bullet.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve thought of another exception,” Tom rebutted.

Tom Swifties

“Where shall I plant these water lilies?” Tom pondered.

Tom Swifties

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

“You must be my host,” Tom guessed.

Tom Swifties