Author: Anonymous Page 91

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

Run it up the flag pole and see what sticks.

Mixed metaphors

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Beliefs Opinion

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

“Let’s spice it up,” said Tom gingerly.

Tom Swifties

There’s no future in time travel.

Activities Future Past Time Travel

Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.

Definitions

Ventriloquist: A man who never speaks for himself.

Communication Definitions Speech

Sadist: A person who is kind to a masochist.

Definitions People Wordplay

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Definitions

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

Etiquette: The noise you don’t make while eating soup.

Definitions

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

The scripts needs to be kept in sink.

Malaprops

Character: What you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.

Definitions

“I don’t know any shanties,” said Tom unceasingly.

Tom Swifties

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.

Sex