Author: Anonymous Page 91

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors

Banging on their chests with a primeval scream.

Malaprops

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

Divorce: Going through a change of wife.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Bigamy is the only crime on the books where two rites make a wrong.

Marriage

Babysitter: A teenager you pay $7 an hour to eat $20 worth of snacks.

Definitions

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Mixed metaphors

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Intelligence Money Stupidity Wealth

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

Heckler: A guy who ribs you the wrong way.

Definitions Wordplay

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

Miscellaneous

“I know which boyd gets the woym,” said Tom in an oily voice.

Tom Swifties

I'm flying by the edge of my seat.

Misspokements

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

A duck on a hot tin roof.

Mixed metaphors

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Age Beliefs Honesty Lies

We're like two peas in a pot.

Malaprops Situations

Are you getting the jest of this?

Malaprops