Author: Anonymous Page 92

Short Vacation: Half a loaf.

Activities Definitions

Chicken: An egg's way of making more eggs.

Animals

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Centenarian: A person who has lived to be one hundred years old. He never smoked or he smoked all his life. He used whiskey for eighty years or he never used it. He was a vegetarian or he wasn’t a vegetarian.

Age Definitions Old

Let’s split the baby with the bathwater.

Mixed metaphors

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Money Time

“Perhaps I will,” said Tom with all his might.

Tom Swifties

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

Sinker: Lead weight attached to the end of a length of fishing line to facilitate the speedy disposal of unwanted lures.

Activities Definitions Things

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

The shit’s gonna hit the stick.

Mixed metaphors

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

Beliefs

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

A little pain never hurt anyone.

Miscellaneous

“Give me some Chinese food”, said Tom wantonly.

Tom Swifties

Hell is a place where the motorists are French, the policemen are German, and the cooks are English.

England

Necking: A passion fancy.

Definitions

He’s so ugly, he’s gotta sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

Miscellaneous

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Definitions Doctors Health

Don't put all your chickens in one basket.

Mixed metaphors

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work