Author: Anonymous Page 92

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Let's not put all of our cookies in a basket.

Mixed metaphors

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Definitions Food/Drink

The monkey is in your court.

Mixed metaphors

Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.

Definitions Doctors Health

“Don’t add too much water,” said Tom with great concentration.

Tom Swifties

Window Shopping: Eye browsing.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Body Definitions

“It’s just gold leaf,” said Tom guiltily.

Tom Swifties

I wouldn't buy your book if you gave it to me.

Misspokements Reviews/Criticism

Bank: An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you don’t need it.

Definitions Money

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Computers Definitions Things

Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.

Definitions Things

I wouldn’t speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying ice.

Expressions Insults Opinion

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

So skinny she’d have to stand up twice to make a shadow.

Appearance Body Expressions

I can syncronize with those homeless people.

Malaprops

“The prisoners set up a company,” the warden confirmed.

Tom Swifties

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.

Expressions

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Proverbs Situations Time