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Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

Definitions

“I lost my pants in the stock market,” Tom speculated.

Tom Swifties

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Activities Definitions

Money roots out all evil.

Mixed metaphors

[Marriage] is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Marriage

“It’s not fair!” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

Executive Ability: The art of getting the credit for all the hard work that somebody else does.

Definitions Work

“How do you start a model-T Ford without a battery?” asked Tom crankily.

Tom Swifties

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

“That’s already been taken care of,” Tom pretended.

Tom Swifties

You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape; if it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40, if it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

Things

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

Woodpecker: A knocking bird.

Definitions

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Adolescence: A period in which children begin to question the answers.

Age Definitions

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

He’s one brick short of the whole nine yards.

Mixed metaphors

When making picture frames, you’ll need a Midas box, so you can cut the angle right.

Malaprops

Cardiology: The study of poker playing.

Activities Definitions

Showoff: A child who is more talented than yours.

Children Definitions Family