Author: Anonymous Page 93

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Definitions Government Taxes

Banging on their chests with a primeval scream.

Malaprops

If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work.

Money People Women Work

I've hit the nail on the jackpot.

Misspokements

“Pass me the shellfish,” said Tom crabbily.

Tom Swifties

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Activities Games Situations

He was married to an acrobat, but she caught him in the act.

Communication Wordplay

If I was doin’ any better, I’d have ta hire somebody to help me enjoy it!

Emotions Expressions Happiness Life

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.

Mixed metaphors

Censor: A person who sticks his noes into other people’s business.

Definitions

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… but I laugh more.

Emotions Laughter

Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

Malaprops

Beer… so much more than just a breakfast drink.

Beer Food/Drink

We're cooking on all four cylinders.

Mixed metaphors

I disagree with unanimity.

Beliefs Opinion

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

“My pants are too tight,” Tom burst out.

Tom Swifties

An argument is a question with two sides and no end.

Beliefs Communication

Etiquette: The noise you don’t make while eating soup.

Definitions