Author: Anonymous Page 93

We drove a stake in the stand.

Misspokements

Well, that’s water under the dam.

Mixed metaphors

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Beliefs People

Too many skeletons in her background

Mixed metaphors

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

We're cooking on all four cylinders.

Mixed metaphors

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Definitions

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

He was a very immortal person.

Characteristics Malaprops

We have taken care of all of the silver bullets.

Mixed metaphors

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

People Women

He's too lazy to scratch his own ass.

Characteristics Expressions

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Golf Sports

“I can no longer hear anything,” said Tom deftly.

Tom Swifties

“I have a delivery of shoes for the prisoners,” said Tom consolingly.

Tom Swifties

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

“Parsley, sage, rosemary,” said Tom timelessly.

Tom Swifties