Author: Anonymous Page 95

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage

The walls of medieval cathedrals were supported by flying buttocks.

Malaprops

Democracy is the counting of heads, regardless of the contents.

Democracy Elections/Voting Government

As Bob is my witless

Malaprops

Just keep your eye on the pie.

Malaprops

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

Conflict Killing

Genealogist: One who traces your family history back as far as your money will go. 

Definitions Family

Don’t make a long story short just so you can tell another one.

Communication Conversation Speech

History: The version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Definitions History Time

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case; coincidence?

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

I haven’t seen him for donkey’s ears!

Malaprops

“Take me to the dance,” Mary bawled.

Tom Swifties

You have to shoot where the fish are barking.

Mixed metaphors

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

Debts: The certain outcome of an uncertain income.

Definitions Money

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life Money

I'm going to the store to buy a soup latrine.

Malaprops

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Cut the biblical cord.

Malaprops

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly