Author: Anonymous Page 96

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

She’s a tall drink of water.

Appearance Body Expressions

Those people all corregated over there.

Malaprops

“My wife is cheating on me,” Tom cackled.

Tom Swifties

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Anger Characteristics Emotions

It's time to swallow the bullet.

Mixed metaphors

Take the ball by the horns and run with it.

Mixed metaphors

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Definitions

You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.

Expressions

“I need an injection,” Tom pleaded in vain.

Tom Swifties

All's well that ends.

Mixed metaphors

Marriages are made in heaven, maybe that’s why so many atheists fool around.

Marriage

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions

Don't count your chickens until you see the whites of their eyes.

Mixed metaphors

Acoustic: An instrument used in shooting pool.

Definitions

Zircon: A diamond falsie.

Definitions

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.

Definitions People

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

“I won’t buy a circuit breaker,” Tom refused.

Tom Swifties