Author: Anonymous Page 96

Wagging Tail: A happy ending.

Definitions

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

“It’s a unit of electric current,” said Tom amply.

Tom Swifties

Forty: The most difficult age for a woman to pass; it often takes years.

Age Definitions

The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.

Occupations Work

You can’t go in there cold turkey with egg on your face.

Mixed metaphors

It's always darkest before dawn… so if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Beliefs

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

It's on the tip of my frontal lobotomy.

Mixed metaphors

His head is so big… he has to step into his shirts.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

Your being Sir Anthony's son, would itself be a sufficient accommodation.

Malaprops

The United Nations is a good idea, but it’s a pity they have to have so many foreigners in it.

Government People

Put your monkey where your mouth is.

Malaprops Money

“Pretend we were in the days before railways,” Tom coached.

Tom Swifties

Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Definitions Golf Sports

Racehorse: A fast means of redistributing wealth.

Activities Definitions

He is so short… he poses for trophies.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Heir Cut: Disinheritance.

Definitions

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions