Author: Anonymous Page 96

Highbrow: One whose learning has outstripped his intelligence.

Definitions

Bureaucracy is based on a willingness to either pass the buck or spend it.

Government

A communist is one who has nothing and wishes to share it with the world.

Government People

“For goodness sakes, use a broom,” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

“The jelly is 50% set”, Tom affirmed.

Tom Swifties

Boundary: In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

Definitions Places

Two in every one people in this country are schizophrenic.

People

Kiss: A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

Definitions

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Keep your nose up!

Mixed metaphors

Spine: A long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other.

Definitions

"Let's gather up the rope," said Tom coyly.

Tom Swifties

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

Yodeling: Slope opera.

Definitions Wordplay

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Dark Ages: Knight time.

Definitions

There’s nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.

People

Puberty: The awkward age when a child is too old to say something cute and too young to say something sensible.

Age Definitions

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Situations