Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 96
Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Shopping
Things
Rummage Sale
She’s a tall drink of water.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Expressions
Tall
Thin
Those people all
corregated
over there.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Congregated
“My wife is cheating on me,” Tom cackled.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Anonymous
Anger
Characteristics
Emotions
Depression
It's time to swallow the bullet.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Take the ball by the horns and run with it.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bachelor
You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.
Anonymous
Expressions
Charm
Pleasing
“I need an injection,” Tom pleaded in vain.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
All's well that ends.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Marriages are made in heaven, maybe that’s why so many atheists fool around.
Anonymous
Marriage
Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Science/Weather
Science fiction
Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Freudian Slip
Don't count your chickens until you see the whites of their eyes.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Acoustic: An instrument used in shooting pool.
Anonymous
Definitions
Acoustic
Zircon: A diamond falsie.
Anonymous
Definitions
Diamond
Zircon
Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Accountant
Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Neurotic
Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.
Anonymous
Crime
Definitions
Convict
“I won’t buy a circuit breaker,” Tom refused.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Page 96 of 161
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