Author: Anonymous Page 96

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Animals Dogs Malaprops

“You’re busted!” said the policeman to Miss Parton.

Tom Swifties

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

Underwater Swimmer: One who practices submersive activitites.

Activities Definitions

He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

Miscellaneous

We don't need to skirt around the bush.

Mixed metaphors

Cabinet Maker: Counter fitter.

Definitions Occupations

It’s the best thing since sliced Spam.

Mixed metaphors

When I'm sick, I take Casper Oil.

Malaprops

“That’s more or less correct,” Tom said roughly.

Tom Swifties

Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.

Definitions Things

Courtesy: Acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Easy Payments: The ones that are easier said than done.

Definitions

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Definitions

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Definitions

When I ask what time it is – I don't need to know how the watch is built.

Communication Expressions Speech

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations

Fashion: A make-work program to get women to buy new clothes for no real reason before the old clothes wear out.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations