Author: Anonymous Page 97

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Emotions Memory Past

This thing is snowballing like a house afire!

Mixed metaphors

Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.

Definitions Doctors Health

There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.

Appearance Clothing

Beware of the half truth… you may have gotten hold of the wrong half.

Beliefs Honesty Truth

The scripts needs to be kept in sink.

Malaprops

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

People

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Also dances.

Reviews/Criticism

Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.

Mixed metaphors

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

Patience: The quality you admire in the driver behind you but can’t stand in the driver who’s in front of you.

Characteristics Definitions

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs Religion Sex

The squeeky wheel gets the worm.

Mixed metaphors

II want to go home and smuggle with my wife.

Malaprops

Free Verse: Verse written without rhyme or reason.

Definitions Reading/Writing

Confidence: What you have before you understand the problem.

Definitions

“Let’s all play an A, a C#, and an E”, cried the band with one accord.

Tom Swifties

“This Bud’s for you,” said Tom lightly.

Tom Swifties