Author: Anonymous Page 97

Deluxe: Mediocre in a big way.

Definitions

A circle is a line of no depth running round a point forever.

Science/Weather

I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him.

Malaprops

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

“Would you stop horsing around!” yelled Tom woefully.

Tom Swifties

“I think I’ve broken my leg ”, reported Tom lamely.

Tom Swifties

“I’m wearing a ribbon round my arm,” said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Situations

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

She is so thin… she doesn’t cast a shadow.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

“I’m wearing my wedding ring,” said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Definitions Emotions

Family Swimming Pool: A small body of water completely surrounded by other people’s children.

Definitions

“Someday I’ll run the CIA,” said Tom aspiringly.

Tom Swifties

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Food/Drink Money Success

Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.

Definitions Things

If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

Miscellaneous

Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.

Definitions

Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success.

Definitions

“Why shouldn’t I stir my coffee with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.

Tom Swifties