Author: Anonymous Page 98

“I am not full of hot air,” Tom belched.

Tom Swifties

He was watching me like I was a hawk.

Mixed metaphors

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

“Wool is better than cotton,” Tom said sheepishly.

Tom Swifties

He’s about as awkward as a cow on crutches.

Expressions

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

Close the barn door after you've led the horse to water.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve borrowed my sister’s camping gear,” said Tom insistently.

Tom Swifties

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Things

Even in a sewer, the cream rises to the top.

Mixed metaphors

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

Intelligence People Stupidity

“Nay!” said Tom hoarsely.

Tom Swifties

A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

Health

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

Artichoke: The only vegetable you have more of when you finish eating it, than you had when you started.

Definitions

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

“Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude,” said Tom barbarically.

Tom Swifties

I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Beliefs Opinion

Fishing License: Permit issued upon payment of a modest fee that allows fishermen to lose lures in a specified area.

Activities Definitions

We'll drive off of that bridge when we get to it.

Mixed metaphors