Author: Anonymous Page 98

Forger: A man who made a name for himself.

Definitions

“I’m from Missouri,” Tom stated.

Tom Swifties

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

Definitions

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.

Definitions Intelligence People

Conference: An organized way of postponing a decision.

Definitions

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

Age Exaggerations Old

“We had trouble with the propulsion systems for those moon flights”, said the NASA engineer apologetically.

Tom Swifties

He reads like a fish.

Mixed metaphors

The discovery of the preserved bodies “breathed new life into” Arctic exploration.

Mixed metaphors

Quit spitting on the handle and get to hoeing.

Expressions Work

An apple a day doesn’t from the tree.

Mixed metaphors

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

You’ve really put your finger on the nail there.

Mixed metaphors

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions

He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

Miscellaneous

“Your tears simply do not affect me,” he observed dryly.

Tom Swifties

To make the drawers work better, rub them with paraphernalia.

Malaprops