Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 98
Forger: A man who made a name for himself.
Anonymous
Definitions
Forger
“I’m from Missouri,” Tom stated.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.
Anonymous
Definitions
Self-made Man
It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Teenagers
Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intelligence
People
Philosophers
Conference: An organized way of postponing a decision.
Anonymous
Definitions
Conference
Decisions
Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bisexual
She is so old… she's in God's year book.
Anonymous
Age
Exaggerations
Old
“We had trouble with the propulsion systems for those moon flights”, said the NASA engineer apologetically.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
He reads like a fish.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
The discovery of the preserved bodies “breathed new life into” Arctic exploration.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Quit spitting on the handle and get to hoeing.
Anonymous
Expressions
Work
An apple a day doesn’t from the tree.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.
Anonymous
Communication
Conversation
Definitions
Intelligence
Speech
Agreement
You’ve really put your finger on the nail there.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
He’d steal flies from a blind spider.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Expressions
Honesty
A cheat
A thief
Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.
Anonymous
Definitions
Puritan
He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
“Your tears simply do not affect me,” he observed dryly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
To make the drawers work better, rub them with
paraphernalia.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Paraffin
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