Author: Anonymous Page 99

“I’ve gained thirty pounds,” said Tom heavily.

Let dead dogs sleep.

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

 “Your Honor, you’re crazy!” said Tom judgmentally.

Wig: A convertible top.

He's a pretty sharp cookie.

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

Fanatic: One who, having lost sight of his goal, redoubles his efforts.

Bad spellers of the world, untie!

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Gold Digger: A fund-loving girl.

Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.

You've buttered your bread, now lie in it.

She raped him in a blanket.

“I won’t play for this team any longer,” Tom decided.

He'll take your head off at the blink of a hat.

Justice: A decision in your favor.

Martial Arts: A family of Asiatic self-defense disciplines consisting largely of sweeping ornamental gestures of the arms and legs – amusing to look at but disappointingly ineffective when one’s opponent is armed with a semi-automatic.

I wouldn’t be caught dead there with a ten-foot pole.