Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 99
“I’m not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting,” said Michelangelo insistently.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Sistene Chapel
Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
Anonymous
Definitions
Future
Time
Tomorrow
Patience: The quality you admire in the driver behind you but can’t stand in the driver who’s in front of you.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Patience
They try to balance a fine line.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Anonymous
Definitions
Politeness
“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Home: A place where a man is free to say anything he pleases because no one pays any attention to him.
Anonymous
Definitions
Places
Home
Book Jacket: A fable of contents.
Anonymous
Definitions
Book Jacket
“There’s no place for the kitchen sink,” said Tom counterproductively.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.
Anonymous
Definitions
Education
Which way are the tea leaves blowing?
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Anonymous
Education
Religion
School
Exams
Prayer
Diamond: One of the hardest substances known to man – especially the payments on one.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Diamond
Loose lips sink like a rock.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.
Anonymous
Definitions
Artist’s Model
Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success.
Anonymous
Definitions
Acrobat
These two guys are cut out of the same mold.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Anonymous
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Health
Life
Anesthesia
Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Wordplay
Archaeologist
You’re fighting upstream.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Hell hath no fury like a wet cat.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Page 99 of 161
« First
« Previous
97
98
99
100
101
Next »
Last »