Author: Anonymous Page 99

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Bury it under the carpet

Mixed metaphors

We’ll tackle that bridge when we come to it.

Mixed metaphors

“That young insect is female,” said Tom gallantly.

Tom Swifties

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Definitions Marriage

There's a traumatic difference between the two.

Malaprops

You can’t change the spots on an old dog.

Mixed metaphors

“I lost my pants in the stock market,” Tom speculated.

Tom Swifties

Epigram: A half-truth so stated to irritate the person who believes the other half.

Definitions

Death: A breath-taking experience.

Death Definitions

“I haven’t had my photographs developed yet,” said Tom negatively.

Tom Swifties

Ice Fishing: Winter fishing method in which anglers use a variety of specialized equipment to catch colds.

Definitions

“I’m the butcher’s assistant,” said Tom cuttingly.

Tom Swifties

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Animals Definitions Food/Drink

It'll be a cold day in January when that happens!

Mixed metaphors

As we consider the road that unfolds before us.

Mixed metaphors

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

Couldn’t find his rear with his hands in his back pockets

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Now that the ball is in our court, let's go for the touchdown.

Mixed metaphors

A gentleman never swears at his wife when ladies are present.

Characteristics Men People

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay