Author: Classified ad Page 10

My name was printed incorrectly below my letter in the December 30 issue of the Sevenoaks Chronicle. It should read L P Pook, not L P Hook. (signed) L P Hook – Sevenoaks Chronicle

Dear recently-expired subscriber…

SECRETARY – needed for quick lube. 6 Days. Call… Stuyvesant Ave, Union, NJ.

Terra Andina Sauvignon Blanc, 2007 $9.99 – Intense, vibrant cat pee aroma underscored by tangerine and grass; crisp, clean and tart with…

Give Blood & Make Your Own Sundae, July 13th

All Remaining Furniture 1/2 Price to 50% Off – Storewide!

HELP WANTED • No Bullshit

ETERNAL ASCENT – sends cremated remains to the heavens in a special balloon. Let us help make your loved one’s final journey a memorable one. We also release pets. Call 800-808-….

Will the person who got hit in the head with a tomato in the 1950’s please contact (414) 453…

TALENT SEARCH – Can you BURP or FART better than your friends? We want to talk. BIG $$ Call us @ 770-….

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Unique Ford – only 5 minutes from Bedford – Just Across from the Women’s Prison

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

Wednesday, March 25 – Drive-thru colorectal screening, 9-11 am. at Passavant Area Hospital…

TALKING DOG, speaks 4 languages, only $50. 309-693-….

Spakling Wines – with Iron Horse Vineyards – a blend of 30% Chardonnay…

$5.95 -or- $15/mo.

PET OF THE WEEK • Let this dog, Pea, in your home.

Selection As Big As The North Pole.

NEW LISTING – CARBONDALE – Move right into this 3 bedroom, 1.25 bath home, featuring foyer with split staircase, mysterious hidden commode, off street parking yard. $79,900.

Bring a friend, and each of you can receive a facial for the price of one facial.