Author: Classified ad Page 16

Do Something Special For Your Valentine – Have your Septic Tank Pumped – Call…

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Soft & genital bath tissues or facial tissue 89 cents

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She Said NO… Diamond Ring for sale or trade – $3500

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Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.

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RENTALS – HOUSING TWO BEDROOM, Sublease, nice area, BARGAIN Rent. Drawback: Big hairy spiders drop off bedroom ceiling at night.

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Notice: To person or persons who took the large pumpkin on highway 87 near Southridge Storage. Please return the pumpkin and be checked. Pumpkin may be radioactive. All other plants in vicinity are dead.

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Nemesis Wanted: I’m 5’10”, into kayaking, books and conversation (by day), justice, honour and vengeance (by night). Seeking arch-enemy, possibly crimelord or deformed megalomaniac. Call…

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PET DOOR; 8 ft. tall, never used, $80.00, 358-….

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WARNING Don’t Pay High Prices For Central Air Conditioning! Only $5,500,000 and one or two days is all it takes to install top quality LENNOX Central Air in your 3 bedroom raised ranch…

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LOST African Elephant. Call 281-701-….

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$5.95 -or- $15/mo.

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ETERNAL ASCENT – sends cremated remains to the heavens in a special balloon. Let us help make your loved one’s final journey a memorable one. We also release pets. Call 800-808-….

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Spakling Wines – with Iron Horse Vineyards – a blend of 30% Chardonnay…

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All Remaining Furniture 1/2 Price to 50% Off – Storewide!

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Maternity sweater, $52. Comes in unisex sizes.

Classifieds Clothing

Dinner Special – Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

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PRO PAIN TANK – Camping Size. $20 (408)266-….

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It Takes Many Ingredients to Make Burger King Great But… “The Secret Ingredient is our People”

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Fully cooked boneless smoked man $2.09 lb.

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Rattle snake 4 months old, good play thing for kids 10 yrs to 80 yrs. 6.5 H.P. go-cart $795. Will hold till X0-mas. Also, chain saw. Call…

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2.5 ACRES WITH HOME NEAR LAND MINE, perfect for your horses & kids. $129,000…

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