Author: Classified ad Page 18

LOST African Elephant. Call 281-701-….

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Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

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FREE Rent in exchange for elderly woman. 319-233-….

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Three black convicts, healthy and well behaved, need good home, pkg deal. 608-427-….

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Now you can borrow enough money to get out of debt.

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MATH TUDAR NEEDED for Intermediate Algebra, needed ASAP! Call…

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Car Sitting Services: Are you going away for a long trip? Are you afraid your car will be lonely, or worse yet, stolen!? I can protect your car and take it for long drives to keep it company. I can even drop you off and pick you up at the airport using your car (at my convenience)! Cheap rates! Call [telephone] and ask for One-tooth Tony.

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WANTED: 12 volt electric wench, must be reasonable… 24 Hour Service – Animal Control – Joe Sweeney – Removal Of Nuisance Wild Animals • Chimney Caps • Rats & Bats (203) 421-….

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FREE PUPPIES. – Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog… able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

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You’re all invited to Steak & Shrimp – Every Friday Night – 5:30 pm – 10 pm – Have Some Fun!! Bring A Gun!! Cash Can Be Won!! At Our Trap Range…

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Fort Hays State University – Honro roll…

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Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

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NEW LISTING – CARBONDALE – Move right into this 3 bedroom, 1.25 bath home, featuring foyer with split staircase, mysterious hidden commode, off street parking yard. $79,900.

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OPEN FOR BUSINESS – James Klindt, who spent more than a year in the Quad-City spotlight for murdering and dismembering his wife, has opened a tiny eatery at 4th and Howell streets in Davenport, called Eats and Sweets.

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HAMSTERS free. Call Allen’s Mom … HAMSTERS $1.00 each. Call Allen …

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WARNING Don’t Pay High Prices For Central Air Conditioning! Only $5,500,000 and one or two days is all it takes to install top quality LENNOX Central Air in your 3 bedroom raised ranch…

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CORRECTION – In a recipe for salsa published recently, on of the ingredients was misstated… The correct ingredient is “2 tsp. of cilantro” instead of “2 tsp. of cement.”

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OFF Incest Repellent – Long Lasting Spray Repellent

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Our editors are colleged and write like the Kipling and the Dickens.

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ALL NUDE In The Meadowlands!! 20 Nude Dancers – Completed Renovated – 2 Nude Stages – Nude Table Dancers In The V.I.P. Lounge

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GET MARRIED in a furniture store $99. Have your funeral in a furniture store. $99. Both for $150. Dollar-A-Day Lease Purchase 1015 Central Avenue 624-….

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