Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Classified ad Page 4
ATTENTION! Federal Employees With Work-Related Hearing Loss – LISTEN TO THIS! – If Your Claim For Hearing Loss Was Accepted By The U.S. Department Of Labor – OWCP, You May Be Eligible For Continuing Benefits
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Manure Digester Summit, 9:30am–3pm, $20 includes lunch…
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WANTED. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers.
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Smile of the Week • I’m smiling because “I am going to buy some sheep.” Sonny Clements, Manzanola
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Wanted: Limo driver needed for overnight transport of drunk and drugged up clients.
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STAFF NEEDED FOR GOURMET BURGER BAR THAT NEEDS STAFF
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Branford: 895,000 Steps to beach. Set on nearly an acre is this historic colonial w/modern amenities. Call for the special features…
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BAR & GRILL – Best Burger in Town – Where Quality & Freshness Counts! FREE TOMATO w/every BLT…
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FREE Rent in exchange for elderly woman. 319-233-….
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PRO PAIN TANK – Camping Size. $20 (408)266-….
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CORRECTION – Due to incorrect information received from the Clerk of Courts Office, Diane K. Merchant, 38, [address] was incorrectly listed as being fined for prositution in Wednesday’s paper. The charge should have been failure to stop at a railroad crossing. The Public Opinion apologizes for the error.
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PET OF THE WEEK • Let this dog, Pea, in your home.
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Our editors are colleged and write like the Kipling and the Dickens.
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A notice in a Madras India newspaper
Thurs. – Skateboard Expo will be from 4 pm to 5:30 pm E. Center Street. Free. Sponsored by the Rochester Area Brain Injury Community Committee.
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All Remaining Furniture 1/2 Price to 50% Off – Storewide!
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Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
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Fort Hays State University – Honro roll…
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Now you can own the number one car in America for two consecutive years.
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Tooth Whitening – For Any One Getting Married We Offer Nitrous Oxide Sedation – Call us today for details…
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If you have over forty eyes and have noticed how your vision has changed…
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Health
Vision
HAVE VIAGRA. Need woman. Any women between 18 & 80. PO Box ###. Boise, ID 83701.
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