Author: Classified ad Page 7

Selection As Big As The North Pole.

PIG – I saw you at Tiki Bobs. You grabbed my butt and I told you if you did that again I’d kill you. You did. I need your address now. Phone…

Cute kitten for sale. Two cents or best offer.

6 Foot TREE OF LIGHTS Reg. $49.99 – Save 20% LIGHTS NOT INCLUDED…

HELP WANTED – Remedy Engineer

Top Money Paid!! Are you willing to be prodded and probed in the orfice [sic] of our choice – all in the name of science?

Paint job, $220. Come in for a free estimate.

Beautiful uncommon African follis dish, 550,00,000 yrs. old, $45.

*1990 SUBARU Justy. 5-speed, fuel injection, new brake and drum. New exhaust system, 4 new street tires and 2 studded. Body in great shape. Engine gone, but still runs. $500. 247-….

The One Gallon Hip Flask…

BABY SITTER NEEDED. Imaginative, neutering, playful & dependable? Weekdays 12–5PM. Must have own car. Ref. required. Call 882-….

Mediterranean Villa – rooms located just steps to the ocean/park/and golf course. Sunsets every day. $209,950

Come to Our Open House From 1pm – 4 pm – EASY TO FIND – South I-25 Exit #173 Larkspur to Perry Park Ave., Right on Perry Park Ave., Right on Silverheels Rd., Right on Eagle Rd., Right on Tenderfoot, Left on Shrine Rd., Left on Independence, Right on Cameron

Chronically Overweight? 6 p.m. 522 N. Eighth St., Sheboygan… Bring your own chair. Free.

Can’t move or speak? It may be a STROKE. No one is too young. Time lost is brain lost. CALL 911

Views plus spacious 1554 sq. ft. home with large lot, family room with fireplace, huge dick for entertaining? …

Now you can own the number one car in America for two consecutive years.

Terra Andina Sauvignon Blanc, 2007 $9.99 – Intense, vibrant cat pee aroma underscored by tangerine and grass; crisp, clean and tart with…

JACK RUSSELL terrorist puppies. 2 boys, 2 girls, 5 weeks old. $400 each. 725-….

Buy 1,000 Large Pizzas – Receive 1,000 Medium Pizzas – FREE!

Landscaping Labor – the new Green Party…