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Confucius say… criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

Confucius say… a bomb goes off in the middle of a herd of cows, there will be udder destruction.

Confucius say… the only thing divorce proves is whose mother was right in the first place.

Confucius say… couple who cross LSD with birth control pills, get a trip without the kids.

Confucius say… diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight.

Confucius say… tight dress is like a barbed fence… it protects the premises without restricting the view.

Confucius say… honor your personality flaws, for without them, you would have no personality at all.

Confucius say… if you don't want anyone to get your goat, don't let them know where you have it tied.

Confucius say… who mix Rogaine with Viagra will end up hard headed.

Confucius say… fool and his money are soon partners.

Confucius say… butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.

Confucius say… man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!

Confucius say… he who light the fuse of love, get big bang.

Confucius say… you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Confucius say… never tell a one legged hitch hiker to hop in.

Confucius say… virginity like balloon… one prick – all gone.

Confucius say… with one chopstick go hungry.

Confucius say… forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

Confucius say… man with head up ass, can't see for shit.

Confucius say… if you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

Confucius say… man who let woman on top, will screw up.