Author: Confucius Page 8

Confucius say… marriage is like taking a bath… after you've been in it for a while, it isn't so hot.

Confucius say… smart ass is someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.

Confucius say… wash your face in the morning, neck at night.

Confucius say… joke is like sex… neither is any good if you don't get it.

Confucius say… fortune you seek is in another cookie.

Confucius say… beauty is only a light switch away.

Confucius say… keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Confucius say… is good to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl.

Confucius say… man who make love to exhaust pipe of car have hot rod.

Confucius say… man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts.

Confucius say… couple who cross LSD with birth control pills, get a trip without the kids.

Confucius say… magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

Confucius say… supermarket is where you spend 30 minutes hunting for instant coffee.

Confucius say… banker who sits in freezer, will have frozen assets.

Confucius say… relationship is the opportunity to do something you hate with someone you love.

Confucius say… rental car is the only true all-terrain vehicle.

Confucius say… your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate was indeed duck.

Confucius say… man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Confucius say… naked man fears no pick pocket.

Confucius say… woman is the only hunter who uses herself for bait.

Confucius say… man with forked tongue not need chop sticks.