Author: Country expression Page 38

I may have been born yesterday, but I stayed up all night.

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.

Bank walker

He’d make a cat laugh.

She is so smart, even her teachers play chess with her.

I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.

Y’all have chairs.

He’s a good ol’ dog, but sometimes he sh*ts to close to the porch.

Slow as an iron toad

Mind that frayed cord – it’ll knock your pecker into yer watchpocket!

He has to sneak up on water fountain to get a drink.

like trying to herd cats

Her butt is as wide as a corn picker.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Shut the light.

He was so slick he could steal the sweet from sugar without touching a grain

He's as happy as if he had good sense.

Watch him; he'll slip a baby copperhead in your pocket, then ask you for a light.

Count the people.

I've had an apple out of that bag.

Madder than spit on a griddle