Author: Epitaph Page 10

Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake, who died for peace and quietness sake; his wife was constantly scolding and scoffin; so he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin.

Epitaphs

Here lies Dr Keene, the good Bishop of Chester, who eat up a fat goose, but could not digest her.

Epitaphs

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down – it was.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Molly Dickie, the Wife of Hall Dickie, tailor

Epitaphs

Here I lie, snuck as a bug in a rug – Two rows down in same cemetery – Here I lie, snugger than that other bugger

Epitaphs

Brigham Young – born on this spot 1801 – a man of much courage and superb equipment.

Epitaphs

The devil slipped in like a weasil – And down to Hell he took old Kezle.

Epitaphs

Heave a sigh For old John Doak. He didn't know His brakes were broke

Epitaphs

Our papa dear has gone to Heaven, to make arrangements for eleven.

Epitaphs

He married five wives, Whom he survived. At the age of 93 he walked to London, to seek a sixth but died before he found her.

Epitaphs

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid, but died an old Mann…

Epitaphs

I bowl'd, I struck, I caught, I stopp'd. Sure life's a game of cricket; I block'd with care, with caution popp'd, yet Death has hit my wicket.

Epitaphs

Poorly lived and poorly died. Poorly buried and no one cried.

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I don't know how to die.

Epitaphs

Born of woman, killed by lead. I most likely had your wife in bed.

Epitaphs

Tired of this eternal buttoning and unbuttoning.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Robert Lowe. Whither he’s gone I do not know. If to the realms of peace and love, farewell to happiness above. If to a place of lower level, I don’t congratulate the d—l.

Epitaphs

The children of Israel wanted bread and the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna.

Epitaphs

Here lies Clyde – Whose life was full – Until he tried – To milk a bull.

Epitaphs

Beneath this stone our baby lies, it neither cries nor hollers, It lived but one and twenty days, and cost us forty dollars.

Epitaphs

"Here lies my husband – what else is new"

Epitaphs