Author: Epitaph Page 11

I am woman here me roar. And boy did she.

Here lies Dead Tom

Curly – Joe DeRita, “The Last Stooge” July 12, 1909 – July 3, 1993

Here lies Donald and his wife Janett McPhee, aged 40 he and 30 she.

Here lieth, underneath these stones, The Beard, the Flesh, and eke the Bones Of Wrexham's Clerk, old Daniel Jones.

Here lies the body of Jane Gordon. With mouth almighty and teeth accordin!

Sudden and unexpected was the end – Of our esteemed and beloved friend, – He gave to all his friends a sudden shock – By one day falling into Sunderland dock.

Hi! – Stay high – Bye

He is not here – But only his pod; He shelled out his peas – And went to his God.

Under this stone Lies Billy Joe Bob Stealing chickens Was his last job

Here richly, with ridiculous display, the politician’s corpse was laid away. While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged, I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.

This stone was raised by Frieda's Lord, not Frieda's virtues to record, for they are known to all the town. This stone was raised to keep her down.

Here lies Charles. Had six guns Needed seven. Now he is in heaven

This debt I owe is justly due, and I am come to sleep with you.

Here lies Bernard Lightfoot who was accidentally killed in his forty fifth year.

Snug

Here lies Fred, Who was alive and is dead: Had it been his father, I had much rather; Had it been his brother, Still better than another; Had it been his sister, No-one would have missed her; Had it been the whole generation, So much better for the nation. But since 'tis only Fred, Who was alive and is dead, here's no more to be said.

My wife lies here. All my tears cannot bring her back, Therefore, I weep.

Ashes to ashes dust to dust, here lies George Emery I trust. And when the trump blows louder and louder, he’ll rise a box of Emery powder.

Eliza, sorrowing rears this marble slab to her dear John who died of eating crab.

The land I cleared is now my grave. Think well, my friends, how you behave