Author: Epitaph Page 16

Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Epitaphs

A rum cough carried him off.

Epitaphs

Tired of this eternal buttoning and unbuttoning.

Epitaphs

This stone was raised to Sarah Ford, not Sarah's virtues to record, for they're well known to all the town. No Lord; it was raised to keep her down.

Epitaphs

Here lies a man named Zeke. Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

Epitaphs

I made an ash of myself

Epitaphs

Fate cuts the thread of life, as all men know, and Fate cut his, though he so well could sew. It matters not how fine the web is spun, ‘tis all unravelled when our course is run.

Epitaphs

Rebecca Freeland, 1741 – She drank good ale, good punch and wine, and lived to the age of 99.

Epitaphs

The wedding-day appointed was, and wedding clothes provided, before the nuptial day, alas! He sickened and he die did.

Epitaphs

Here doth lye the bodie – Of John Flye, who did die – By a stroke from a sky-rocket – Which hit him on the eye-socket.

Epitaphs

Here lie I and my three daughters, All from drinking the Cheltenham waters. While if we had kept to the Epsom salts, We should not now be in these here vaults.

Epitaphs

He got a fish bone in his throat – And then he sang an angel's note.

Epitaphs

This Empty Urn is Sacred to the Memory of John Revere Who Died Abroad in Finistere: If He Had Lived He Would Have Been Buried Here.

Epitaphs

When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.

Epitaphs

Here lies Kelly, we buried him today. He lived the life of Riley, when Riley was away!

Epitaphs

The Lord saw good; I was lopping off wood, and down fell from the tree; I met with a check, and I broke my neck, and so Death lopped off me.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Elred. At least he will be when he is dead. But now at this time he's still alive, 14th August '65.

Epitaphs

Here lyeth wrapped in clay, the body of Ester Wray: I have no more to say, except bless the day, she went away 3rd May 1872.

Epitaphs

Here he lies, James T. Carson. He blew up his wife and was hung for arson.

Epitaphs

Good Susan Blake in royal state – Arrived at last at Heaven's gate."But Peter met her with a club – And knocked her back to Beelzebub."

Epitaphs

Here lies Thomas Smith and what is somewhat rareish, he was born bred and hanged in this e’er parish.

Epitaphs