Author: Epitaph Page 17

Curly – Joe DeRita, “The Last Stooge” July 12, 1909 – July 3, 1993

Here lies Barnard Lightfoot Who was accidentally killed in the 45th year of his age. This monument was erected by his grateful family.

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Here lies the body of Mary Morgan. Like the morning dew she glistened, exhaled, and went to heaven.

John Palfryman who is buried here, was aged four and twenty years. And near this place his Mother lies, likewise his father when he dies.

Office upstairs.

They finally took Our good friend Scott, When a lightning bolt could not

Two great physicians first, my Loving husband tried, to cure my pain, in vain. At last he got a third, and then I died.

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

Here lies the body of Samuel Proctor, who lived and died without a doctor.

Here lies – Johnny Yeast – Pardon me – For not rising.

Fear God, keep His Commandments, Don't attempt to climb up in a tree That's what caused the death of me!

Close behind this stone Here lies alone Captain Reynolds Marvin Expecting his wife When ends her life. And we both are freed from sarvin',

Tears cannot restore her –– therefore I weep.

… Here lies, returned to clay Miss Arabella Young, who on the eleventh day of May began to hold her tongue.

Rebecca Freeland, 1741 – She drank good ale, good punch and wine, and lived to the age of 99.

This corpse is Phebe Thorps.

Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake, who died for peace and quietness sake; his wife was constantly scolding and scoffin; so he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin.

Reader pass on and ne'er waste your time, On bad biography and bitter rhyme. For what I am this cumb'rous clay insures, And what I was, is no affair of yours.

A man of letters it seems was he; the college made him L.L.D. The Order a P.G.W.C. Grim death has given him the G.B., and may his ashes R.I.P.

Elizabeth Scott lies buried here, She was born Nov 20th 1785, according to the best of her recollection.