Author: Epitaph Page 17

Curly – Joe DeRita, “The Last Stooge” July 12, 1909 – July 3, 1993

Epitaphs

Here lies Barnard Lightfoot Who was accidentally killed in the 45th year of his age. This monument was erected by his grateful family.

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3.14159265358979323846264338327950288…,

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Here lies the body of Mary Morgan. Like the morning dew she glistened, exhaled, and went to heaven.

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John Palfryman who is buried here, was aged four and twenty years. And near this place his Mother lies, likewise his father when he dies.

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Office upstairs.

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They finally took Our good friend Scott, When a lightning bolt could not

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Two great physicians first, my Loving husband tried, to cure my pain, in vain. At last he got a third, and then I died.

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Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

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Here lies the body of Samuel Proctor, who lived and died without a doctor.

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Here lies – Johnny Yeast – Pardon me – For not rising.

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Fear God, keep His Commandments, Don't attempt to climb up in a tree That's what caused the death of me!

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Close behind this stone Here lies alone Captain Reynolds Marvin Expecting his wife When ends her life. And we both are freed from sarvin',

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Tears cannot restore her –– therefore I weep.

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… Here lies, returned to clay Miss Arabella Young, who on the eleventh day of May began to hold her tongue.

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Rebecca Freeland, 1741 – She drank good ale, good punch and wine, and lived to the age of 99.

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This corpse is Phebe Thorps.

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Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake, who died for peace and quietness sake; his wife was constantly scolding and scoffin; so he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin.

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Reader pass on and ne'er waste your time, On bad biography and bitter rhyme. For what I am this cumb'rous clay insures, And what I was, is no affair of yours.

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A man of letters it seems was he; the college made him L.L.D. The Order a P.G.W.C. Grim death has given him the G.B., and may his ashes R.I.P.

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Elizabeth Scott lies buried here, She was born Nov 20th 1785, according to the best of her recollection.

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