Author: Epitaph Page 18

Grim Death To Please His Palate Has Taken My Lettice To Put in His Sallat.

Epitaphs

This is to the memory of Ellen Hill, a woman who would always have her will. She snubbed her husband but she made good bread. Yet on the whole he’s rather glad she’s dead. She whipped her children and she drank her gin, whipped virtue out and whipped the devil in. May all such women go to some great fold, where they through all eternity may scold.

Epitaphs

He heard the angels calling him, from the celestial shore. He flopped his wings and away he flew, to make one angel more.

Epitaphs

Dinah had a little can, 'Twas filled with kerosine. And soon among the twinkling stars – Dynamite Benzine.

Epitaphs

Excuse Me

Epitaphs

The Lord saw good; I was lopping off wood, and down fell from the tree; I met with a check, and I broke my neck, and so Death lopped off me.

Epitaphs

Faults I May Have – Being Wrong is Not One of Them

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthly mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! Wake her not, for now she’s still, she had; but now I have my will.

Epitaphs

Here lies Robert Trollope Who made yon stones roll up. When death took his soul up His body filled this hole up.

Epitaphs

Getting there is half the fun!

Epitaphs

Here lies George Johnson, He was right, We was wrong, But we strung him up, And now he's gone

Epitaphs

Approach and read, now with your hats on, for here lies Bailie William Watson; who was famous for his thinking, and moderation in his drinking.

Epitaphs

A zealous locksmith died of late, and did not enter Heaven’s gate. But stood without and would not knock , because he meant to pick the lock.

Epitaphs

Alass Frend Joseph, His End was Almost Sudden, as thou the mandate came express from heaven his foot it slip and he did fall help, help he cries & that was all.

Epitaphs

Here I lie at the chancel door – And I lie here because I am poor; – For the farther in the more you pay, – But here I lie as warm as they.

Epitaphs

Behold! I come as a thief. – Death loves a shining mark. – In this case he had it.

Epitaphs

Sacred to the memory of My husband John Barnes Who died January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted.

Epitaphs

Dear God, Thanks

Epitaphs

Here lies Salvino Armalo D'Armati of Florence, the inventor of spectacles. May God pardon his sins!

Epitaphs

“Deeply regretted by all who never knew him.”

Epitaphs

This Ain’t Bad _____ Once You Get Used To It

Epitaphs