Author: Epitaph Page 18

A victim of fast women and slow horses.

Epitaphs

Beneath this silent tomb is laid, a noisy antiquated maid, who from her cradle talked till death, and ne'er before was out of breath.

Epitaphs

Blown upward out of sight: he sought the leak by candlelight

Epitaphs

Here lies the wife of brother Thomas, whom tyrant death has torn from us, her husband never shed a tear, until his wife was buried here. And then he made a fearful rout, for fear she might find her way out.

Epitaphs

Longest Live Burial World Record Attempt.

Epitaphs

I'll thank you not to put your butt on my grave.

Epitaphs

36-33-01-24-17 – Honey you don't know what you did for me, – Always playing the lottery. – The numbers you picked came in to play, – Two days after you passed away. – For this, a huge monument I do erect, – For now I get a yearly check. – How I wish you were alive, – For now we are worth 8.5

Epitaphs

These hillocks green and mouldering bones, these gloomy tombs and lettered stones. One admonition here supply: Reader! art thou prepared to die?

Epitaphs

Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake, who died for peace and quietness sake; his wife was constantly scolding and scoffin; so he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin.

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Ma Dyed [sic]

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He looked for gold and died of lead poison

Epitaphs

John Edwards who perished in a fire. None could hold a candle to him.

Epitaphs

See how God works his wonders now and then, here lies a lawyer, and an honest man.

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Many a heart by sorrow pressed, doth envy me my peaceful rest

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Here lies – Johnny Yeast – Pardon me – For not rising.

Epitaphs

Struck by thunder.

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Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp, Who lived by wool and died by hemp

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At rest beneath this slab of stone, lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt. He died one morning just at ten, and saved a dinner by it.

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This man when alive was a slave, but behold such is fate, having died he is equal in power, to Darius the Great.

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Once I wasn't – then I was. Now I ain't again.

Epitaphs

To the memory of Ric Richards who by a gangrene first lost a toe, then a leg and lastly his life.

Epitaphs