Author: Epitaph Page 2

Planted here beneath sod. At peaceful rest lies brother Claude

Epitaphs

William Newhall. He ‘rose in health at early dawn, to hail the new born year: before the evening shade came on, he finished his career.

Epitaphs

This is to the memory of Ellen Hill, a woman who would always have her will. She snubbed her husband but she made good bread. Yet on the whole he’s rather glad she’s dead. She whipped her children and she drank her gin, whipped virtue out and whipped the devil in. May all such women go to some great fold, where they through all eternity may scold.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Samuel Proctor, who lived and died without a doctor.

Epitaphs

Here lies – Johnny Yeast – Pardon me – For not rising.

Epitaphs

Here lies Kelly, we buried him today. He lived the life of Riley, when Riley was away!

Epitaphs

Paul Lennis Swank – Here under the dung of cows and sheep, lies an old highclimber fast asleep. His trees all topped and his lines all hung. They say the old rascal died full of rum.

Epitaphs

Where did everybody go?

Epitaphs

Here lies Martin Elmrod. Have mercy on my soul, good God, as I would do were I Lord God, and you were Martin Elmrod.

Epitaphs

My sledge and anvil lie declined, my bellows too have lost their wind; my fire’s extinct, my forge decay’d. And in the dust my body’s laid: my coal is out, my iron’s gone, my nails are drove, my work is done.

Epitaphs

Here lies John Hill, a man of skill. His age was five times ten, he ne'er did good, nor ever would, had he lived as long again.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Hannah Thurber. Once she talked none could curb her. Three husbands had she; all are dead. They died of earache, so ‘tis said!

Epitaphs

When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.

Epitaphs

My wife lies here. All my tears cannot bring her back, Therefore, I weep.

Epitaphs

See, I told you I was SICK!

Epitaphs

Who lies here ? — Who do you think? 'Tis poor Will Gibson — give him a drink. Give him a drink, I'll tell you for why, when he was living, he always was dry.

Epitaphs

Underneath this ancient pew, lie the remains of Jonathan Blue; his name was Black, but that wouldn't do.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthy mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! wake her not, for now she’s still; she had, but now I have my will.

Epitaphs

I told you so, you damned fools.

Epitaphs

Here lies England's premier baron, patiently awaiting the last trump.

Epitaphs

#$%& @!&% #?!$% @?*&!@^#!* @*$! &!%?

Epitaphs