Author: Epitaph Page 23

Here lies Dead Tom

Praises on tombs are trifles vainly spent; a man's good name is his best monument.

Learn the living from the dead, how easy breaks life's tender thread

In the pride of his manhood he heard the last call, – Though first in the field where his feet pressed the sod. – He hath gained his last wicket and thrown his last ball, – To join in the choir 'round the throne of his God.

The dust of Melantha Gribbling, swept up at last by the Great Housekeeper

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

Here lies Salvino Armalo D'Armati of Florence, the inventor of spectacles. May God pardon his sins!

1890. The light of my Life has gone out. – 1891. I have struck another match.

Rebecca Freeland, 1741 – She drank good ale, good punch and wine, and lived to the age of 99.

Bill Blake – was hanged by mistake.

Here lies England's premier baron, – Patiently awaiting the last trump.

Reader, I've left this world, in which I had a world to do; sweating and fretting to get rich: just such a fool as you.

This is on me.

She lived a life of virtue and died of the cholera morbus, caused by eating green fruit in hope of a blessed immortality.

This man when alive was a slave, but behold such is fate, having died he is equal in power, to Darius the Great.

Here lies Scott Jacobson – Who came upon an evil lich, he didn't even think to run, and ended up in this ditch

Hell no! I came here to die not to make a speech!

Here lies the corpse of Doctor Chard, who fill'd half of this churchyard.

Sacred to the remains of Jonathan Thompson. A pious Christian and affectionate husband. His disconsolate widow continues to carry on his grocery business At the old stand on Main Street: Cheapest and best prices in town.

… He's done a-catching cod, and gone to meet his God.

"I knew this was going to happen to me."