Author: Epitaph Page 23

Here lies the body of Jonathan Tilton, whose friends reduced him to a skeleton. They robbed him out of all he had And now rejoice that he is dead.

Epitaphs

My candle burns at both ends, – It will not last the night, – But Oh, my foes, – And Ah, my friends, – It gives a lovely light

Epitaphs

Here lies the Body of Captain Tully. Aged an hundred and nine years fully. And threescore years before, as Mayor, the sword of this city he did bear. Nine of his wives do with him lie, so shall the tenth when she doth die.

Epitaphs

Good Susan Blake in royal state – Arrived at last at Heaven's gate."But Peter met her with a club – And knocked her back to Beelzebub."

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Samuel Crane – He ran a race with a passenger train. He got to the crossing and almost across. Sam and his car was a total loss. Sams spirit now tolls his knell. That Sam is on his way to well – If he only took time to stop look and listen, He'd be living now instead of missing

Epitaphs

Here lies Dr Keene, the good Bishop of Chester, who eat up a fat goose, but could not digest her.

Epitaphs

Paul Lennis Swank – Here under the dung of cows and sheep, lies an old highclimber fast asleep. His trees all topped and his lines all hung. They say the old rascal died full of rum.

Epitaphs

He was a man of invention great – Above all who he lived nigh; – But he could not invent to live – When God called him to die.

Epitaphs

Here lies one Wood enclosed in wood. One Wood within another. The outer wood Is very good: we cannot praise the other.

Epitaphs

Posterity will ne'er survey – A nobler grave than this: – Here lies the bones of Castlereagh: – Stop, traveller, and piss.

Epitaphs

Beneath this smooth stone by the bone of his bone – Sleeps Master John Gill; – By lies when alive this attorney did thrive, – And now that he's dead he lies still.

Epitaphs Lawyers Lies

Here lies the wife of brother Thomas, whom tyrant death has torn from us, her husband never shed a tear, until his wife was buried here. And then he made a fearful rout, for fear she might find her way out.

Epitaphs

To the memory of Ric Richards who by a gangrene first lost a toe, then a leg and lastly his life.

Epitaphs

He who dies with the most toys wins

Epitaphs

Here lies Elizabeth, my wife for 47 years, and this is the first damn thing she ever done to oblige me.

Epitaphs

Here lies the bones of Eichard Lawton – Whose death alas I was strangely brought on. – Trying his corns one day to mow off. – His razor slipped and cut his toe off. – His toe or rather what it grew to, – An inflimation quickly flew to. – Which took alas to mortifying – And was the cause of Eichards dying.

Epitaphs

Peace to his hashes.

Epitaphs

"Here I lie, and no wonder I am dead, for the wheel of a wagon went over my head."

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Robert Lowe. Whither he’s gone I do not know. If to the realms of peace and love, farewell to happiness above. If to a place of lower level, I don’t congratulate the d—l.

Epitaphs

Here lies Robert Trollope Who made yon stones roll up. When death took his soul up His body filled this hole up.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthly mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! Wake her not, for now she’s still, she had; but now I have my will.

Epitaphs