Author: Epitaph Page 24

Within this grave do lie. Back to back my wife and I. When the last trump the air shall fill, if she gets up I’ll just lie still.

Epitaphs

This is on me.

Epitaphs

He was a man of invention great – Above all who he lived nigh; – But he could not invent to live – When God called him to die.

Epitaphs

Once I wasn't – then I was. Now I ain't again.

Epitaphs

My trip is ended: send my samples home

Epitaphs

Here into the dust, the mouldering crust, of Eleanour Bachelour's shoven; well versed in the arts of pies, custards, and tarts. And the lucrative skill of the oven. When she lived long enough, she made her last puff, a puff by her husband much praised, now here she doth lie and makes a dirt pie, in hopes that her crust shall be raised.

Epitaphs

Our papa dear has gone to Heaven, to make arrangements for eleven.

Epitaphs

John Macpherson Was a remarkable person. He stood six feet two Without his shoe, And he was slew At Waterloo.

Epitaphs

I plant these shrubs upon your grave dear wife. That something on this spot may boast of life. Shrubs must wither and all earth must rot. Shrubs may revive, but you thank heaven will not.

Epitaphs

Paul Lennis Swank – Here under the dung of cows and sheep, lies an old highclimber fast asleep. His trees all topped and his lines all hung. They say the old rascal died full of rum.

Epitaphs

Here lies a lewd Fellow, who, while he drew Breath, In the Midst of his Life was in Quest of his Death; Which he quickly obtain'd for it cost him his Life, For being in Bed with another Man's Wife.

Epitaphs

Longest Live Burial World Record Attempt.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim. We made the mistake, but the joke's on him.

Epitaphs

We must all die there is no doubt – Your glass is running… mine is out

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Charity, wife of Gideon Bligh, underneath this stone doth lie. Nought was she e'er known to do, that her husband told her to.

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Here lies Granny Beth Sue Choked to death On Redman Chew

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of old Uncle David, who died in the hope of being saved. Where he's gone or how he fares, nobody knows and nobody cares.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthly mould, who, when she liv'd, did naught but scold; peace, wake her not, for now she's still, she had, but now I have my will.

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Poor Martha Snell, she's gone away. She would if she could, but she could not stay; she'd two bad legs, and a baddish cough, but her legs it was that carried her off.

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Shall all we die? We shall die all. All die shall we? Die all we shall.

Epitaphs

Come blooming youths, as you pass by, And on these lines do cast an eye. As you are now, so once was I; As I am now, so must you be; Prepare for death and follow me.

Epitaphs