Author: Epitaph Page 25

I'll thank you not to put your butt on my grave.

Epitaphs

This stone was raised to Sarah Ford, not Sarah's virtues to record, for they're well known to all the town. No Lord; it was raised to keep her down.

Epitaphs

Our bodies are like shoes, which off we cast, physic their cobblers, and Death their last.

Epitaphs

Here lies poor Ned Purdon, from misery free, Who long was a bookseller's hack. He led such a damnable life in this world I don't think he'll ever come back.

Epitaphs

She failed her breathalizer test now she lays with the best

Epitaphs

"Lord, thy grace is free, — why not for me?"

And the Lord answered and said, — "Because thy debts aint paid I”

Epitaphs

Here lies John Ross, kick'd by a boss.

Epitaphs

Once I wasn't – then I was. Now I ain't again.

Epitaphs

Ma Loves Pa – Pa Loves Women – Ma Caught Pa, With 2 in Swimmin – Here Lies Pa…

Lawrence L. Cook Jr. 10-29-1934 — 8-1-2004

Epitaphs

Here lies, cut down like unripe fruit, The wife of Deacon Amos Shute. She died of drinking too much coffee, Anno Dominy eighteen forty

Epitaphs

Here I lie, snuck as a bug in a rug – Two rows down in same cemetery – Here I lie, snugger than that other bugger

Epitaphs

All you that please these lines to read, it will cause a tender heart to bleed, I murdered was up on the fell, and by the man I knew full well; by bread & butter which he'd laid, I, being harmless, was betray'd. I hope he will rewarded be, that laid the poison there for me.

Epitaphs

In Memory of Jacob, third son of Capt. Jacob Rice, died May 7, 1818 Et. 9 yrs. – His death was occasioned by the fall of a dung fork, one tine penetrating his brain.

Epitaphs

Here lies Lotta Dust.

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OOPS!, he died – Love from us your father, Tom jr. and Mary

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife a sad slatterned shrew. If I said I regretted her, I should lie too.

Epitaphs

Here lieth the body of my lovely dear wife Anne, who plays the poker machines whenever she can.

Epitaphs

H. L. Mencken 1880 – 1956 – If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner, and wink your eye at some homely girl

Epitaphs

He found a rope and picked it up, and with it walked away. It happened that to tother end, a horse was hitched, they say. They took the rope and tied it up, unto a hickory limb. It happened that the tother end, was somehow hitched to him.

Epitaphs

She drank good ale, good punch and wine and lived to the age of 99.

Epitaphs

Here beneath this pile of stones – Lies all thats left of Sally Jones. – Her name was Lord, it was not Jones, – But Jones was used to rhyme with stones.

Epitaphs