Author: Epitaph Page 25

I am woman here me roar. And boy did she.

Epitaphs

Here lies entombed one Roger Morton, whose sudden death was early brought on; trying one day his corn to mow off, the razor slipped and cut his toe off. The toe, or rather what it grew to, an inflammation quickly flew to; the parts they took to mortifying, And poor dear Roger took to dying.

Epitaphs

Faults I May Have – Being Wrong is Not One of Them

Epitaphs

Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up and no place to go.

Epitaphs

Died at the age of 102 at the hands of a justifiably outraged husband.

Epitaphs

She tormented him until he dried up like a bundle of Straw.

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… Here lie the bones of Sophie Jones; for her death held no terrors. She was born a maid and died a maid. No hits, no runs, no heirs.

Epitaphs

She was never meant to be understood, just loved.

Epitaphs

Susan Tomkins here she lies, nobody laughs and nobody crys, where shes gone or how she fares nobody knows and nobody cares

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Scotty… beam me up!

Epitaphs

Here lies the wife of brother Thomas, whom tyrant death has torn from us, her husband never shed a tear, until his wife was buried here. And then he made a fearful rout, for fear she might find her way out.

Epitaphs

Fair maiden Lilliard – lies under this stane – little was her stature – but muckle was her fame – upon the English loons – she laid monie thumps – and when her legs were cuttit off – she fought upon her stumps.

Epitaphs

He called Bill Smith a liar

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Charity, wife of Gideon Bligh, underneath this stone doth lie. Nought was she e'er known to do, that her husband told her to.

Epitaphs

Here's to Johnny quite a guy. Very sad he had to die. All was well could not be better, Till he wrote my girl a letter.

Conflict Epitaphs Girlfriends Killing

Poor John Scott is buried here, tho' once he was both hale and stout. Death stretched him on his bitter bier, in another world he hops about.

Epitaphs

This debt I owe is justly due, and I am come to sleep with you.

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At threescore winters' end I died, a cheerless being, sole and sad; the nuptial knot I never tied, and wish my father never had.

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Here lies Lord Coningsby – be civil, the rest God knows – so does the Devil.

Epitaphs

Here lies two brothers by misfortune surrounded; one died of wounds, but the other was drownded.

Epitaphs

Reader if cash thou are – In want of any – dig 4 feet deep – And thou wilt find a Penny.

Epitaphs