Author: Epitaph Page 27

Here beneath this stone we lie, back to back my wife and I, And when the angels trump shall trill, If she gets up then I'll lie still!

Epitaphs

Hi! – Stay high – Bye

Epitaphs

This stone was raised by Frieda's Lord, not Frieda's virtues to record, for they are known to all the town. This stone was raised to keep her down.

Epitaphs

Here lies the darling of his time – Mitchel expired in his prime. – Who four years short of forty seven – Was found full ripe and plucked for Heaven.

Epitaphs

She tormented him until he dried up like a bundle of Straw.

Epitaphs

At rest beneath this slab of stone, lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt. He died one morning just at ten, and saved a dinner by it.

Epitaphs

Reader pass on and ne'er waste your time, On bad biography and bitter rhyme. For what I am this cumb'rous clay insures, And what I was, is no affair of yours.

Epitaphs

Lie heavy on him, earth, for he laid many a heavy load on thee.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthy mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! wake her not, for now she’s still; she had, but now I have my will.

Epitaphs

Grim Death To Please His Palate Has Taken My Lettice To Put in His Sallat.

Epitaphs

Here lies Dead Tom

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While on earth my knee was lame, I had to nurse and heed it. But now I’m at a better place, where I don’t even need it.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Martha Dias, who was always uneasy, and not over pious; she lived to the age of three score and ten, and gave that to the worms she refused to the men.

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Ruth and Johnny, Side by side, Went out for an auto ride, They hit a bump. Ruth hit a tree, And John kept going – Ruthlessly.

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Gone Underground For Good

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Beneath these green trees rising to the skies, the planter of them, Isaac Greentree lies! A time shall come when these green trees shall fall, and Isaac Greentree rise above them all.

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Here lie I, Martin Elginbrodde: Hae mercy o' my soul, Lord God; As I wad do, were I Lord God, And ye were Martin Elginbrodde.

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My father and mother were both insane – I inherited the terrible stain. – My grandfather, grandmother, aunts and uncles – Were lunatics all, and yet died of carbuncles.

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This wasn’t my idea

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… Going! Going!! Gone!!!

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Office upstairs.

Epitaphs