Author: Epitaph Page 4

The Lord was good I was lopping off wood – And down fell from a tree. – I met with a check that broke my neck – And so God lopped off me.

Epitaphs

These hillocks green and mouldering bones, these gloomy tombs and lettered stones. One admonition here supply: Reader! art thou prepared to die?

Epitaphs

Here lies John Ross, kick'd by a boss.

Epitaphs

Ingenious youth, thou art laid in dust. Thy friends, for thee, in tears did burst.

Epitaphs

THOMAS O. MURPHY – Sh-h-h.

Epitaphs

Hold my drink, you're gonna' love this.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Jane Gordon. With mouth almighty and teeth accordin!

Epitaphs

Here lies poor Ned Purdon, from misery free, Who long was a bookseller's hack. He led such a damnable life in this world I don't think he'll ever come back.

Epitaphs

… Dentist Brown – Is filling his last cavity.

Epitaphs

Cast a cold eye on life, on death. Horseman, pass by!

Epitaphs

RUSSELL J. LARSEN – Two things I love most, good horses and beautiful women, and when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine, and make it into a ladies riding saddle, so I can rest in peace between the two things I love.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of John Mound, lost at sea and never found.

Epitaphs

Mitchell – Well This Sucks

Epitaphs

He Never Killed a Man That Did Not Need Killing

Epitaphs

Here, reader, turn your weeping eyes, My fate a useful moral teaches; The hole in which my body lies Would not contain one half my speeches

Epitaphs

Exit Burbridge

Epitaphs

A peerless matron, pride of female life In every state, as widow, maid, or wife; who wedded, to threescore preserved her fame. She lived a phoenix, and expired in flame.

Epitaphs

Erected to the memory of John Macfarlane. Drowned in the waters of Leith – by a few affectionate friends.

Epitaphs

Here lies Joseph Trowlup, who made yon stones roll up: when death took his soul up, his body filled this hole up.

Epitaphs

All you that please these lines to read, it will cause a tender heart to bleed, I murdered was up on the fell, and by the man I knew full well; by bread & butter which he'd laid, I, being harmless, was betray'd. I hope he will rewarded be, that laid the poison there for me.

Epitaphs

18 years a maiden, 1 year a wife, 1 day a mother, then I lost my life.

Epitaphs