Author: Epitaph Page 5

Here lies Sissie Chang – Fumbled a grenade, went out with a bang

Epitaphs

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Epitaphs

Throughout his life he kneaded bread and deemed it quite a bore. But now six feet beneath earth's crust he needeth bread no more.

Epitaphs

1890. The light of my Life has gone out. – 1891. I have struck another match.

Epitaphs

Weep not for me mother & brothers dear, It is God's wish that I am here. At my sweet age I swallowed a bone That sent me to a happy home.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Samuel Proctor, who lived and died without a doctor.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Edward Hyde. We laid him here because he died.

Epitaphs

Here lies old Aunt Hannah Proctor who purged but didn't call the doctor: she couldn't stay, she had to go praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife, poor Molly, let her lie, she finds repose at last, and so do I.

Epitaphs

Hell no! I came here to die not to make a speech!

Epitaphs

Beneath the stone, a lump of clay, lies the man called Peter Hannels, who early in the month of May, took off his winter flannels.

Epitaphs

Until the brakes are turned on time, – Life's throttle-valve shut down. – He works to pilot in the crew – That wears the martyr's crown. – On schedule time, on upper grade – Along the homeward section. – He lands his train in God's roundhouse – The mom of resurrection. – His time is full, no wages docked, – His name on God's pay roll. – And transportation through to Heaven – A free pass for his soul.

Epitaphs

Here lies the darling of his time – Mitchel expired in his prime. – Who four years short of forty seven – Was found full ripe and plucked for Heaven.

Epitaphs

Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear. To dig the dust enclosed here; blessed be the man that spares these stones, and curst be he that moves my bones.

Epitaphs

Since all that's mortal turns to dust, Reader! be humble and be just; 'Twill ease thy mind of anxious care, and sooth thy passage — God knows where!

Epitaphs

Here lies the Body of Captain Tully. Aged an hundred and nine years fully. And threescore years before, as Mayor, the sword of this city he did bear. Nine of his wives do with him lie, so shall the tenth when she doth die.

Epitaphs

A Funny Thing Happened

Epitaphs

As you are now, I once was. As I am now, you shall be. So prepare for death and follow me.

Epitaphs

Soon ripe, Soon rotten, Soon gone, Not forgotten

Epitaphs

He had sand in his craw, But was slow on the draw, So we planted him ‘neath the daisies.

Epitaphs

Faults I May Have – Being Wrong is Not One of Them

Epitaphs