Author: Epitaph Page 5

Robert Phillip, gravedigger: Here I lie at the Chancel door; Here lie I because I am poor; The farther in the more you pay; Here I lie as warm as they.

Epitaphs

Here lies the worst king and the most miserable man in the kingdom.

Epitaphs

Here lies Elizabeth, my wife for 47 years, and this is the first damn thing she ever done to oblige me.

Epitaphs

He had sand in his craw, But was slow on the draw, So we planted him ‘neath the daisies.

Epitaphs

In memory of Richard Fothergill, who met vierlent death near this spot 18 hundred and 40 too. He was shot by his own pistill. It was not one of the new kind; but an old fashioned brass barrell. Of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Epitaphs

She was in health at 11.30 A. M. – And left for Heaven at 3.30 P. M.

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Died at the age of 102 at the hands of a justifiably outraged husband.

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Our Little Charlie – He dropped into our world to taste life’s bitter cup, but turned his little head aside, disgusted with the taste and died.

Epitaphs

Since all that's mortal turns to dust, Reader! be humble and be just; 'Twill ease thy mind of anxious care, and sooth thy passage — God knows where!

Epitaphs

Here I lie, taken from life.

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I was not, I am not, I grieve not

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Hooray my brave boys let's rejoice at his fall. For if he had lived he would have buried us all.

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Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

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Here lies, cut down like unripe fruit, The wife of Deacon Amos Shute. She died of drinking too much coffee, Anno Dominy eighteen forty

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Here lies Martin Elmrod. Have mercy on my soul, good God, as I would do were I Lord God, and you were Martin Elmrod.

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This is what I expected, but not so soon.

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Curiosity did not kill this cat.

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I put my wife beneath this stone, for her repose and for my own.

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Here lies a man never beat by a plan, straight was his aim and sure of his game, never was a lover but invented a revolver.

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Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

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Beneath this stone, in hopes of Zion, doth lie the landlord of the lion; his son keeps on the business still, resigned unto the heavenly will.

Epitaphs