Author: Epitaph Page 8

Some have children, others none, Here lies the mother of twenty one.

Beloved Husband of Joan, A Man With Nature, Who Loved Life & His Jigsaws – "Didjabringabeer"

I’m A Writer But Then Nobody’s Perfect

Martha and I together lived – Just two years and a half; – She went first, and I followed after – the cow before the calf.

Assuming my death has occurred, and five doctors have concurred. Please REVIVE me! If you can get no breath, take the person who caused my death, and bury them right beside me.

Here Lies Good Old Fred – A Great Big Rock Fell On His Head – R.I.P.

Here lies the wife of brother Thomas, whom tyrant death has torn from us, her husband never shed a tear, until his wife was buried here. And then he made a fearful rout, for fear she might find her way out.

Charity, wife of Gideon Bligh, underneath this stone doth lie. Nought was she e'er known to do, that her husband told her to.

Here I lie, taken from life.

Here lies the body of Emily White, she signalled left, and then turned right.

Here lies my wife in earthy mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! wake her not, for now she’s still; she had, but now I have my will.

Jonathan Grober died dead sober. Lord thy wonders never cease.

He Never Killed a Man That Did Not Need Killing

Returned – Unopened

Mary, Mary, quite contrary How does your garden grow? Quite well, I bet, Since it's well fed By her body decomposing below.

Here lies Bernard Lightfoot who was accidentally killed in his forty fifth year.

The wedding-day appointed was, and wedding clothes provided, before the nuptial day, alas! He sickened and he die did.

He was a simple man who died of complications.

Snug

Dear God: enclosed, please find Rube Goldberg. Now that you’ve got him, what are you going to do with him?

He called Bill Smith a liar