Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Unknown Page 3
I feel like a bridegroom waiting at the altar for a blind date.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You
Unknown
Song Titles
He can squeeze money out of a turnip.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
Sometimes I feel like I'm swimming uphill against the grain.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
I’m Old Enough to Know Better But I’m Still Too Young to Care
Unknown
Song Titles
Written by Chick Rains & Wade Hayes
Forget the Night, Help Me Make It Through the Door
Unknown
Song Titles
This so-called water feature will literally be a drain on the resources of the Royal Parks Agency for years to come.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
On a water fountain
I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She’s Out Of Town
Unknown
Song Titles
I don’t think they want to bite off that bullet.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
I feel the comparison paints the city in a bad light.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
That's grabbing the bull by the horns of a dilemma.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
I Can’t Get Over You, So Why Don’t You Get Under Me?
Unknown
Miscellaneous
Song Titles
K-Mart Blue Light Special
Unknown
Song Titles
Written by Stephen Anthony
He said he wanted to go play in his home country and village; I guess every village needs an idiot.
Unknown
Hockey
Sports
About a European player
I could hear the handwriting on the wall.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
He Went To Sleep and The Hogs Ate Him (Now Claude's Gone Forever)
Unknown
Song Titles
Written by Nathaniel Nathan; Gene Redd & Ray Starr
If you don't wear your seat belt, you're just a missile waiting to happen.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
I wasn't living under my parents' house anymore.
Unknown
Mixed metaphors
Summer camp is where the parents spend a thousand dollars so their daughter can learn to make a fifty-cent potholder.
Unknown
Definitions
Places
Summer camp
I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back to See if I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me
Unknown
Song Titles
Written by Jimmy Eaton & Larry Wagner
Hockey players wear numbers because you can’t always identify the body with dental records.
Unknown
Hockey
Sports
Page 3 of 13
« Previous
1
2
3
4
5
Next »
Last »