Author: Unknown Page 5

Her parents got married out of wedlock.

Mixed metaphors

It used to be sheep [waking me in the morning] and that's bad enough, but cows are a whole different kettle of fish.

Mixed metaphors

Pardon Me, I’ve Been Pardoned

Song Titles

I ate enough to float a battleship!

Mixed metaphors

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Marriage

Lay Something On My Bed Besides A Blanket

Song Titles

I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight

Song Titles

Skillet Full of Crisco

Song Titles

Drank Myself Under the Table Tryin to Get Over You

Song Titles

We need to get a vacuum cleaner and hose him down.

Mixed metaphors

Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.

Hockey Sports

Why Can't Johnny Bowl?

Song Titles

Rugby League is war without the frills.

Conflict Sports

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

Miscellaneous Song Titles

If Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now

Song Titles

‘I am’ is the shortest sentence in the English Language; ‘I do’ is the longest.

Marriage

Players' names should be entered in numeric order.

Mixed metaphors

I will miss seeing him around the shoehorn.

Mixed metaphors

I have been torn betwixt and between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Mixed metaphors

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

Lawyers Money

And Britain defeats the rest of the world to pick up the bronze medal.

Misspokements Sports