Author: Anonymous Murphy’s Law

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Whatever you want, you can’t have, what you can have, you don’t want.

Murphy’s Laws

There is always a way… and it usually doesn’t work.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Chaos always wins, because it’s better organized.

Murphy’s Laws

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Murphy’s Laws Time

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

No matter how hard you try, every once in a while, something is going right.

Murphy’s Laws

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

Mother nature is a bitch.

Murphy’s Laws

If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Whenever an expert is confounded by a seemingly insoluble problem, the solution is immediately obvious to the first unqualified person who happens along.

Murphy’s Laws

It will always break just when you need it the most.

Murphy’s Laws Problems