Author: Anonymous Murphy’s Law

When you drop coins, the pennies will fall nearby, while all the others will roll out of sight.

It will always break just when you need it the most.

The mud that won’t come off on the doormat immediately adheres to the carpet.

If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Chaos always wins, because it’s better organized.

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

No matter how hard you try, every once in a while, something is going right.

Mother nature is a bitch.

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.

If your action has a 50% possibility of being correct, you will be wrong 75% of the time.

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Whatever you want, you can’t have, what you can have, you don’t want.

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Whenever an expert is confounded by a seemingly insoluble problem, the solution is immediately obvious to the first unqualified person who happens along.

A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).

If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.