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humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Murphy's Law
No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Things
Telephone
The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Computers
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Things
Electrical cords
The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Situations
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Simplicity
Systems
Exceptions prove the rule… and wreck the budget.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Budgets
Exceptions
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear; when there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Time
Banks
Checks
If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Answers
Solutions
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Experts
Knowledge
To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Money
Murphy’s Laws
People
Time
Experts
The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Engineers
You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, and that is sufficient.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
People
Time
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
On successive charts of the same organization the number of boxes will never decrease.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Charts
Organizations
A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Inspection
Never step in anything soft.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
When a broken appliance is demonstrated to the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
Appliances
Repairs
The more cordial the buyer’s secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Business
Competition
Secretaries
Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Work
Bosses
Motivation
Murphy’s Law never fails except when you try to demonstrate it.
Anonymous Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Laws