Author: Abe Lemons

Just give every coach the same amount of money and tell them they can keep what’s left over.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

It was the toughest seven-man zone we faced all year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

I don’t have any tricky plays, I’d rather have tricky players.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

You can say something to popes, kings and presidents, but you can't talk to officials. In the next war they ought to give everyone a whistle.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn’t make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

I don't jog; if I die I want to be sick.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

[I employ] two offenses: the GMA, or "general milling around," and the Daylight Offense, as in "The first guy who sees daylight after he crosses mid-court shoots."

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

There are only two plays that I know, Romeo and Juliet and put the damn ball in the basket.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

We don’t pray after a game… that’s too late.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

How hard is it to coach track? … tell ‘em to stay to the left and get back as fast as you can.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

How can you call a foul on my man for using his eye to foul the other team’s player on his elbow?

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

 You mean in the state?

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

Hey, some places this would be a foul!

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

One day of practice is like one day of clean living; it doesn’t do you any good.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

I play my regulars; the only way a guy gets off the floor is if he dies.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach

You out rebounded a dead man by one.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach